Poof!

2007-09-15T12:01:00.000+08:00

Hey there, whoever that still reads my blog.

I've shifted over to theoxymoronic.livejournal.com (again).

Haha I don't really know why either. You can relink me if you want Byebye!

It's been a while (again, I know, I lack inspiration for wise and genius-y titles!)

2007-08-29T18:47:00.001+08:00

[Mood - happy and appreciative]

I'm happy; school always cheers me up in the end. Despite all the problems our batch seems to be facing, I believe we will eventually be able to do it though. "All things through Christ"!

Last night was a lousy night so today I'm making up for everything by treating myself to an entire afternoon of doing all the things I love.

Yay I'm so happy I managed to translate the entire song "Vois Sur Ton Chemin"! Not that it's such a big deal, since I had the help of wordreference.com, but still, I'm really happy because it's a really sweet and beautiful song and I've always wanted to do this but never managed to find the time to. I love Les Choristes! I'm really glad my french teacher showed it to us in sec 1 (:

Vois sur ton chemin
Gamins oubliés égarés
Donne leur la main
Pour les mener
Vers d'autres lendemains

Sens au coeur de la nuit
L'onde d'espoir
Ardeur de la vie
Sentier de gloire

Bonheurs enfantins
Trop vite oubliés effacés
Une lumière dorée brille sans fin
Tout au bout du chemin

Sens au coeur de la nuit
L'onde d'espoir
Ardeur de la vie
Sentier de gloire

Look Upon your path
Children forgotten and led astray
Lend them a helping hand
To guide them
Across the other days

Sense with your heart, the night
The ocean of hope
Heat of life
Path of glory

Child-like joy
Too quickly forgotten and faded
A golden light shines eternally
At the end of the path

Sense with your heart, the night
The ocean of hope
Heat of life
Path of glory

And I went over to youtube and watched a couple of really sad one tree hill videos that made me want to cry and laugh and scream all at once. Ok, not that drastic but I really miss watching one tree hill and I definitely am going to squeeze some time in for it this sept holidays, regardless of how frighteningly busy I am going to be!

These totally make me want to watch season 4 now, even though there's the end of brucas ): and the blossoming of leyton (can you see my anguished looks) and the whole double-the-bitch-factor friendship between Brooke and Rachel. I want to rewatch my seasons 1 to 3 too! Arrgh I need time time time.

And I'm sorry I can't post the videos up because youtube doesn't allow me to, but you can type the urls into your browser if you really want to!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sw9iiTTzR4A
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AMq5bdvB6BA&mode=related&search=

&I can't wait for teachers' day. (: I'm already writing out all the letters I'm going to give to the teachers I love, haha. And of course, I can't wait to watch my darling SLs and I am going to scream and cheer like a fanatic when they come out hehe.

Oh, and have I mentioned how awesome some of Bob Dylan's lyrics are?

Oh the time will come up
When the winds will stop
And the breeze will cease to be breathin'.
Like the stillness in the wind
'Fore the hurricane begins,
The hour when the ship comes in.

Oh the seas will split
And the ship will hit
And the sands on the shoreline will be shaking.
Then the tide will sound
And the wind will pound
And the morning will be breaking.

Oh the fishes will laugh
As they swim out of the path
And the seagulls they'll be smiling.
And the rocks on the sands
Will proudly stand,
The hour that the ship comes in.

And the words that are used
For to get the ship confused
Will not be understood as they're spoken.
For the chains of the sea
Will have busted in the night
And will be buried at the bottom of the ocean.

A song will lift
As the mainsail shifts
And the boat drifts on to the shoreline.
And the sun will respect
Every face on the deck,
The hour that the ship comes in.

Then the sands will roll
Out a carpet of gold
For your weary toes to be a-touchin'
And the ship's wise men
Will remind you once again
That the whole wide world is watchin'.

Oh the foes will rise
With the sleep still in their eyes
And they'll jerk from their beds and think they're dreamin'.
But they'll pinch themselves and squeal
And know that it's for real,
The hour when the ship comes in.

Then they'll raise their hands,
Sayin' we'll meet all your demands,
But we'll shout from the bow your days are numbered.
And like Pharaoh's tribe,
They'll be drownded in the tide,
And like Goliath, they'll be conquered.

When The Ship Comes In by Bob Dylan

I'm usually not someone who raves about poems (because I don't usually get the really deep ones) but I really like good lyrics and I love the lyrics here, I love the imagery! And do you get the metaphor about social change? I didn't get it when I first listened to it either but after a while I did, oh man he is quite a genius hoho.

Tag Replies (after so long :P and I'm sorry I'll do it from only august onwards because I'm lazy and I'm hungry and dinner's calling)
Ning: Hello back, friend! :D
Andrea: Hahaha of course I remember too! We totally pwned hehe.
Shaun: Nope, not anytime soon!
Grace: Hi Grace! Haha aren't you glad your exams are over?
Elaine: Yeah next time play with us okay! (:

Ok NOW I'm going to have dinner, then do Lit and Math. Yay I like Frankenstein a lot a lot and I really enjoy Lit lessons now when we get to discuss as a class. It's just that I stilll haven't gotten past the first few chapters oops haha. Meanwhile, Math... is just hopelessly screwed beyond repair. I like jasonng and Ms Koh very much though!

2007-08-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

[mood - happy, just happy]

I'm finally blogging again, haha (:

The past one and a half months or so have kind of been madness, pure madness but I don't know, they've been really interesting too I guess. Even though school and homework's still a drag and I can't believe we're more than halfway into 2007 already. I mean, it's practically handover time and I still feel like a little kid sometimes. But it's been quite easy to put on that "I'm here and everything's gonna be okay" act once in a while. Haha oh man I cannot imagine myself being a sec 4, I really cannot. ~~Poor juniors~~

And even though I have strayed from His path countless times and even though I don't do my QT regularly, I hardly ever touch the bible sometimes and the most impure and sinful thoughts can fill my head at times, I must really really thank God for all the blessings He's given me continually. Not that I'm trying to say he condones my behaviour, I mean I'm sure he must've felt really disappointed in me but He's never given up on me and I think that's wonderful. I really really thank Him for all the people He's placed around me, I'm really grateful for all the love I've got and even though sometimes I still feel incredibly lonely and sad, I'm really glad He's there no matter what.

There was SLC Outing today. Met with jinyao for breakfast at the roti prata place in Thomson, yumm the prata there's really really good but the people there kept ignoring me! Haha oh well maybe it had something to do with the fact that I sat there without ordering anything for about half an hour (all your fault, kwanjinyao!). Then we went to join the others at hwachong and I tried to play basketball but I realised I really didn't want to bug them with my lack of athletic abilities and decided to settle for bridge instead. Yay I love bridge! :D Have I told you how I once won even though I bid for 4 No-trump! Haha, Jiajie was super funny and I love the bp people I wish Yumei and Damian came too.

Then we all went to KAP for lunch (I've officially decided to swear off meat at Mac's and KFC's for good) and we talked about exams and then we played some more bridge (woohoo!) and I saw Mr Br y d en Chew (I've come to terms with the fact that teachers actually google their names hoho) dressed in his signature all-black! I nearly choked. But yeah by some crazy impulse, I waved to him with my cards held up high in the other arm. Then I nearly died because every one was like "Jingyi! Your cards!" Haha oh man, hope he didn't see them. But then again, there's nothing wrong with playing cards in public! I wasn't in my school uniform anyway.

Then Ning came and we attempted to do Chinese PT but we got so sick and tired of it in the end we decided to stop after one hour. Besides, my head was kind of spinning. So I went home. Anyhow, we can always impromptu for the thing itself.

&Updates on my life! In the past one month or so, I've

1. Cut my hair
Sob, nobody could tell the difference! But I think I'll be cutting it again some time soon.

2. Watched and read harry potter, OoTP and the deathly hallows respectively
The movie was ok, I think it was tons better than the 4th movie and Snape was really funny. I have a lot to say about the book though! But because of time constraints, I'll just say that I'm not entirely satisfied with the 7th book even though I enjoyed it - it didn't tie up as many ends as I thought it would and what with all the "oomph" that came with it, I expected a lot more but then again it might be just me - and I hate the last sentence! (All was well :o)

3. received a new chance
I am really really thankful for this and I'll try my best best best. I really want to and I'll pray about it and everything and I hope if you know about it you'll give me your support too. I really don't ever want to repeat any of the mistakes I've made previously. It's just not worth it.

4. been a really bad friend.
I am so, so sorry. ): I can't exactly describe this but let me just say that I regret a lot of the things I have and haven't done and I want to genuinely care for you guys again.

5. failed a math test
Oh, that was a horrible mistake. Because, I didn't know that the test had a second page until the test was over and everybody was discussing the questions and I was all blank-faced and wide-eyed. Oh well, it's only 10%.

6.failed my drill test
This is even more horrible! The worst thing is, I have no idea why I failed my drill test and I don't want to have a sudden revelation that the way I've been doing drill all these while has been wrong wrong wrong!

7. gotten Beatrice Chia and Royston Tan to accept our interview requests!
That's really exciting :D. And I can't wait for "coffee at siglap's" or a nice long chat with Roystan Tan about Singapore as a creative city. Haha our topic sounds really dry but I think it's pretty interesting. Go us (:

8. shared countless happy moments with the friends I'm blessed with
Thank you all so so much. School wouldn't be school without you guys. Heart.

9. I can't remember!
It doesn't matter, my life isn't that important anyway haha. But I do miss the feeling of frequent blogging and recording down all your daily thoughts and happenings and then going through them again like reading a really good novel except this novel is happening right there in your heart. Haha do I make sense? And I've just excluded like two months of my life because all my posts thus far have been really vague and yeah of course they still do trigger some memories when I read them but I bet I'll be staring at them and thinking about how weird they are 20 years from now.

Oh well, I hope you guys have had a good national day even if it was spent mugging or doing CMPS or other school-related things. Or even if it was just a good quiet day spent sleeping, reading and eating (like mine was). And I give all of you big big hugs and I really hope you'll come out of whatever you're going through now as a tougher and wiser person. I hope I do too. I love you.

"Look how the time flies
Look how the world changes
In the blink of an eye
My, oh my
Look how the years have flown
Turning around before you know it
Up and gone
Oh my, oh my, oh my

Times have changed and so have I
I once was young and starry-eyed
Now I have these bittersweet memories"
-My, Oh, My by The Wreckers

2007-06-29T22:34:00.000+08:00

It's been a while, thanks for all the tags. So many things have happened in just one month; so many things have changed. Yet the whole month feels too short to actually seem real.

France Trip was awesome, and thanks for all the concern about my head, everyone. I missed it so much and I guess I still do, because it was a nice getaway. One day, one day I must find time to dedicate to these unforgettable 12 days a nice long blog entry chock full with pictures.

June Camp was awesome too, in a different way. I'm very grateful for the worship we had because it was really good (thank you Levites) and the first day's really brought me back onto His path. Actually, the entire camp helped a lot because, I admit, I had been slightly straying again. I'm also very thankful to Him for allowing me to make a positive experience out of the whole thing. It wasn't just about how fun it was, I learnt a lot about myself and other people. I really love my batch though - we might not be the most bonded but I think we're very lucky to have minimal or zero cliques and to have no backstabbing/bitching/the usual girly drama stuff present in us. Thank you Batch08.

The first week of school has been, like most other weeks of school, physically draining and very emotionally challenging. And I keep falling asleep in class, or actually it's just Math. I think my body clock (it likes sleeping more than 12 hours each day thank you very much) and my brain (which hasn't seen math for a while) are having a hard time adjusting.

And I feel kind of sorry for zhanglaoshi. I guess I understand the "mistakes" part. I guess we haven't been very fair to him as well. I feel kind of bad.

And, this. I really don't know what to say. I wish I can rewind time too because, just because. I feel really confused and I think I need to sort things out and think them through properly, even though I really don't know what to think or what to think about. It is completely a mistake on our part though, a very big mistake (I still think it is). I wish you would listen and I wish you would understand and not think we are trying to victimize ourselves. I never intended to have it being interpreted that way. I never intended to have a lot of things happen anyway. I think I suck at expressing myself and I'm almost always taking the easy way out, which is fine, except sometimes it's not fine - not really.

I'm sorry for disappointing.

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again! :D

2007-06-01T17:02:00.000+08:00

[mood - grinnnnn]

I love 12slc and ot (: They gave me wonderful memories.

I love Filatheia, the funkiest batch ever. (:

And in less than 24 hours I'll be in Paris. I'm so excited I can't wait! :D

Au revoir mes amis! Don't miss me too much ;D

(Will be back on the 12th actually. Haha meanwhile I'll be uncontactable but you can always try the handphone if it's an emergency)

Enough is enough.

2007-05-31T22:59:00.000+08:00

Watched Shrek3 in the morning! :D We were so lucky we got seats even though it was practically full house and then we walked around Lido and I got another long-sleeved top. Now I'm not so scared of shivering to death in France anymore (haha kidding, my mum dug up a couple of old sweaters). Thank you Ning for all the going out and for being so patient and so nice. You will always be my winNing (and I know I'll always be your uh Jingie) and you will always be the friends part of Jingie&Friends, heehee. Maybe I'll really design a perfume called Tangy by Jingie and then I'll dedicate it to you and make you the official endorser of it or something (I can totally see your face screwing up in disgust).

I love Shrek! It's my favourite movie in the universe (right after Cinderella Story, and uh I can't remember what else) and even if Shrek 3 was a little bit cliched (fine it was very very primary-school-compo-ish cliched), I still love it to bits and pieces. Same with Cinderella Story! I don't care I ~~want~~ need to go to Princeton because I know my true destiny as a princess totally lies there (yeah and I totally believe that only princes go to Princeton).

Anyway, spent the rest of the day packing for France and it was so tiresome and frustrating. Because my parents happen to be going overseas too for the same period of time. No actually no nevermind talking to Ruoting on MSN just got me super high and excited about the France trip because I will be sleeping with her for twelve days! Yay love the roomie. xD I suddenly have this insane urge to want to be super pro and well-versed in french and I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait. OMG I can just imagine all the crazy things we'll be doing. And lots of photowhoring too I bet. :DDDD This rocks. Je suis tres tres tres contente! Et toi? Tu es contente, non? Parce que je suis contente, tout la monde doit etre contente! Nah, kidding.

Oh I remember what I was going to say before Ruoting interrupted me. My wardrobe feels so empty now boohoo D: But! It's ok! FRANCE TRIP FRANCE TRIP. I think I'm going hysterical except it's on MSN and i'm not really going hysterical in the physical sense oh no I don't know what I'm saying. Okay! I've decided to stop blogging. Shall continue to SCREAM IN CAPS WITH RUOTING OVER THE MSN until my mum decides to scream too. Will also be engaging in a desperate attempt to brush up on my french vocabulary (uh which is currently pathetically limited). Still,

JE VAIS ALLER EN FRANCE!

(but meanwhile, there's still gm tomorrow and 13slc again! I've decided to stop moping and just, you know, GETOVERIT. Yeah. If any of you happen to read this, GO FLO GO BUDDY GO SARAH GO JOYEO GO LAINEY GO JEANHUI GO REBECCA GO WEISHANNN GO CELINETHEBEAN GO ANDREA GO SANDRA GO YUHUI GO CYRIL GO ZECH GO CHERN YUEN GO MARK GO EVERYONE ELSE AND I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO BIASED CUZ I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR NAMES ARE! &BUDDY BUDDY YOU CAN SO DO IT I KNOW YOU CAN)

And have lots and lots of fun, Tzeqing, Aly, Mel, Bird, Nattai and Shijia!

(and thank you Tzeqing)

(and I'm sorry for not replying tags! I feel really guilty and unfriendly. But I will, soon! In like 12 days' time maybe? Thank you for tagging and for keeping my blog alive while I was M.I.A-ing)

Yay EIFFEL TOWER MUAH MUAH.

(and loads of cheese and butter and croissants and tarts and custard and eclairs and brownies and cheeeeeeesecake)

Soaked in misery.

2007-05-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

You know sometimes I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. It's so easy to put on a smile, isn't it? Oh, you have no idea.

Have been going back to hwachong to look at 13slc. And I feel really proud of them, even though most of them have absolutely nothing to do with me, I still feel really happy for them. Yeah yesterday was a pretty rough day - a rough ride for most of their emotions, and ours too. But today went really well. So then things ended and I went to take a mini trip around the campus - went up the usual staircases and walked around those familiar classrooms that sparked off much nostalgia. And it was the first time after 12slc in which I actually really thought about stuff. Silent contemplation, hmmm. Sometimes, it would be really nice though if we could just erase all the unpleasant memories. But life ain't like that. So I was thinking when I told Concept`07 the other time that I've gotten over it, it was such a huge lie I couldn't believe what a hypocritical thing I'd said.

Later, I ate with the bunch of them. And as usual, I don't talk much but I laugh a lot and giggle a lot and stare a lot. And I feel, and experience a lot too.

And I just sent a message to all of 'em. It was... a load off my chest but that wasn't really entirely what I'd wanted to say but I'd never been very good with expressing myself anyway, so.

It's alright, it's alright - just keep telling yourself that and eventually it will be.

I miss SLC ): ImissitImissitImissit. And having regrets is an extremely painful thing.

Die Jingyi Die!

2007-05-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

[mood - The Idon'tfeellikemuggingbutIhaveto,awwshucks mood]

I know I'm supposed to be mugging, but I saw this on Wencen's lj and it's so cute and besides I was having a break (not a very deserving one, but nonetheless)!

Scroll over the picture and read the instructions(:

Anyhow, mugging at libraries is really fun. Thank you for all the lovely mugging sessions, Ning<3!I AM going to blackmail you, I promise! :P

And Nongs! Good luck and jiayou my dears, you can do it (not just for studies but for everything else)! Lots of love, and many hugs.

Thashi dear (if you even read this blog), in the end you may just find all that struggling worth it. We aren't like fairytale beings so we don't get to cross a rainbow to find our pot of gold but it's a pot of gold all the same and you just gotta cross that big great thorny obstacle. Be strong!

And this is where I tell everyone I'm going on a hiatus! -gives a huge unbelieving snort

(Be rest assured, I'll be back the very next instant I don't feel like mugging - which will be super soon)

Off, to the wondrous Land of Logarithms.

Imbalance

2007-05-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

I dunno what I'm doing here. I'm supposed to be mugging Bio. Bio Bio Bio. But I can't do it, I just can't. It's like, I have no willpower whatsoever to even force myself to study. I hate studying ):

But I should be thankful because I'm studying geog and not physics, history and not chemistry. But still, content-heavy content-heavy content-heavy brain-injury!

&Suddenly, I miss many many people and many many things. I miss talking for the sake of talking, laughing for the sake of laughing, I miss being plain silly, I miss talking to you and you and you and you and you you you, even though I already have so many people to talk to (and, yeah I know, even though you can't have everything and everyone together at once). Miss miss miss. Arrgh. arrgh arrgh arrgh.

Betcha dunno what I'm talking about. S'okay.

Alright, back to mugging (which I hadn't even started in the first place).

Another tough week's just gone by

2007-04-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

[mood]
Ouch my brain hurts!

Okay, because I have so many oth icons and because I am very oth-deprived and because my blog is lacking pictures and because I need more incentives to blog and because I blog so little anyway, I decided to have mood thingums with very pretty oth icons I get from various lj communities which I visit regularly for a bit of oth-deprivation relief. Yay (: So now I kinda look forward to blogging a bit more and I promise I'll do a proper update soon and give all the tags their due replies. Meanwhile, I have to go complete the 1124325534 math worksheets (and assignments) which I'm currently struggling with and here's yet another very meaningful quote I wanna share:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
- Gilda Radner

<3 you guys very very much and take care and all the best for mugging and stuffies because the EOIs are practically sprinting towards us and we all know we need the luck (especially for Math). Jiayou!

&the glass shatters

2007-04-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Stained glass masquerade - Casting Crowns

2007-04-11T19:55:00.000+08:00

Woo, a breather. (Haha I'm suddenly reminded of Peiling saying "You know what that means? That means...I need a breather, I need a breather!" in Cantata xD)

It sounds really loser but to amuse myself, I've joined this lj quotes community and I thought this was really nice (:

Life is a school for angels.
Love is the Teacher,
so do your homework without fear.
Death is merely graduation.

Jeffrey Kuehl

And I thought this was really funny:
Never argue with an idiot. He drags you down to his own level and then beats you with experience.

Anyway, had the grooming lesson today. I'm a spring-autumn! It was intriguing but I think the woman's really scheming. Oh well, some call it reality but I'm quite disgusted; never did like the idea of projecting a certain image or having ulterior motives for doing something. Why can't everyone just be themselves? (I think I'm secretly a non-conformist, although not the colmanchua kind thank you very much ;D)

And you know Tq&Mich's lit antho theme "Secrets and lies"? I think it is super applicable. Because the more I hear, the more shocking and unpleasant things I always find out about people I thought I knew, the people I used to place a lot of trust in.

&I am very angry with myself, for being so blur and forgetful and irresponsible. !!!

Shihui - haha thanks for the map! Your help is greatly appreciated. We don't wanna get lost again. (:

Mich - Who who who! We met a middle-aged woman somewhere along the corridors hehe. Might be Mrs Tan.

Huishan - Welcome! Haha won't be updating my layout anytime soon though.

Isabelle - Oh. ): Hope your studies are going well anyway! And like jiayou for tennis, o levels, prelims and all the random stuffies you've got! (Which is a lot I bet!)

Shihui - Haha I heard about her. Awww poor girl. But at least she tried! (:

Delia- *beams with pride and fondness* (darn I realise I sound a tad too motherly)

Rach - Hehe yeah I know. And now she's scared of Ramyia I think. Hoho and yay I love the strawberry heart one!

Kellie - It's a shop at Raffles City Basement! But you have to go there earlier/during non-peak hours or else you might have to queue for 45min or sth.

Nicole - Hello NICOLEHHH! Haha. Yay today was fun(: <3

Ning - I love mamee noodles too! AND, was it you who suggested mamee noodles for camp supper! Haha.

TZEQING - Hug hug hug! <3 (Yay I love doing HSSRP stuff with you. You make RS super fun! :D)

Elaine - Haha, agreed! "Chick stuck in mower, chicken stuck in mower..." We can have a 209 outing again? 'Cept that probably very few ppl will turn up.

ANYWAY,

Koped from Nic who koped from Tzeqing. Haha.

I love my nongnongheads too! <333

Somewhere over the rainbow

2007-04-06T14:35:00.000+08:00

I haven't blogged in ages, I'm sorry everyone! (:

Anyway, life has been really good but super super busy and I have had my ups and downs but I always get over it in the end and find myself back where I should have been - in God's comforting presence. So yeah, all's well, I think. And I love all my friends ever so much and I shan't mention their names but yeah you probably know who you are and I love you all! And if I've forgotten/missed any of your birthdays, I promise to make it up to you in June, I am very bad with birthdays.

Yay the SLs have finally finally been officially given their badges and authority and stuffies and now they're like all over the school. I am very proud of them! And have I mentioned it is very gratifying to see them sec 1s with ties! Hoho last night, I felt sudden bursts of love for them and I hope they don't mind my very long and naggy emails. Yeah I realise my emails are always long and naggy but I think people do read them so, whatever. xD

& So many things have been over. Like Creative Drill Comp (we got Bronze hurray!) and the phase where I fell into a deep pit of insecurity and self-doubt (where basically I thought I was really stupid and I think I still am, to a certain extent heehee but I can live with that), the dreaded History Test (which turned out to be not so dreadful afterall) - dreaded because it's the only subject I actually care enough about to want to do very well in, Huang Cheng which was pretty funny and it was good to see everyone again though I was very quiet, and Lit PT! Yay our anthology is super pretty, all thanks to andrea and aly because I'm just useless when it comes to art and I need to be told what to do. (: Anyway, I hope our presentation was fine and everyone, esp. Regina Lee liked it:

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,

is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

~Anna Quindlen

Oh, and then there was meeting with Prof Kwok at NTU (Teddy! hahaha) where he very kindly asked us to stop all work and start getting lost and confused in the process of researching on creative cities (which just keeps reminding me of last year's slc and how I could've done so much more stuff for it if I had only been less childish and distracted), anyhow I hate hate hate ntu's huge campus and the signboards that don't make sense. ): I wish Shihui had been around; it took us like one hour to finally find the Humanities library which was what, near the School of Engineering! As if those two subjects are even remotely linked to each other. I have nothing against the school itself though, it's just me and big campuses (even though NTU is by comparison not that big)! I think I'll get very very lost when I go to uni or JC, even. But haha the problem of big campuses will still not erase my love for Princeton! It is so pretty! Like this:

Anyway, I'll end this post with a picture of my favourite donuts!

DONUT FACTORY IS LOVE!

2007-03-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

Earlier on today, I realised something. Every time something that really upsets you happens, you want to cry. But you try to make yourself not think about it. A few days later, you start thinking about it again but you don't have the urge to cry anymore and you don't feel that lump in your throat whenever someone else brings up the subject. And one year later, you find yourself no longer looking back but instead, you've moved on and went on to be happy or sad for many other things. And the cycle repeats itself, and that's when you understand and you feel thankful for being blessed with the ability to forget.

P.S. Ironing proves to be harder than it seems. It's so frustrating! I never knew you had to uh take note of the positioning of the shirt/the material of the shirt/the temperature of the iron. I thought all you had to do was to just place to the shirt on the ironing board and take a few swipes at it with the iron. :/ You know what, I think I might just have to give up on my ambition to become a housewife. And my mummy was laughing at me and bossing me about.

P.P.S. Drill Competition's tomorrow and since I can never get my boots to shine no matter what I do, I'll just leave them like that so at least they're consistent. I hope my sense of direction will stay with me throughout and not forsake me in the middle of static drill (especially long commands omgosh)

P.P.P.S. I think I should stop subscribing myself to online newsletters on impulse; I just found a very strange email telling me all about great wines at great prices. A couple of days ago, I received something that had something to do with cars. I don't remember subscribing myself to either of that.

Goodnight everyone! (:

Thank You for Your blessings

2007-03-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

I think the DISC test was way accurate; I really do love having people around me and talking, laughing with them. Today was Drill Comp. practice and even though it gets very draining, the constant charade-ing (no I am not perverse, just imaginative! -cringe), the afternoon of speaking chinese because "wo men jiang hua yu yin wei HUA YU KU!" and the Seventeen and Elle magazines more than made up for it. :D Sometimes, I really love GB a lot.

Anyway, March Camp was fun! Even though it didn't feel as fun as last year's but I think that was just because last year I went with a high fever and thus a very optimistic outlook and a fierce sort of determination to make the best out of everything. So, actually how much fun one has totally depends on one's attitude. We had it at Salvation Army this year and even though it was quite a far cry from the past retreats' beachside hotels and whatnot, the dorms were seriously not as bad as I'd expected. 1. There was air-con (yay! :D) 2. There was actually a tv (though the display was fuzzy)! 3. We were lucky cuz Ning, Lucy and I got to share the apartment with only three other people while the others had to fit all 9 of them into one room and the dorms in the basement were just single rooms while the dorms on the 3rd storey were like apartments with a sitting room and bedrooms. 4.There was hot water (even though it was a bit too hot cuz we never figured out how to control the temperature until the very last day)!

I liked Day One for the picnic at the quarry, and the grocery shopping at a nearby Cold Storage prior to that. It was really cool; we made our own sandwiches and then went into this totally un-commercialized and isolated area somewhere along Dairy Farm/Upper Bukit Timah Rd that had a stunning view: hills (with exfoliating slopes hee) and a green meadow and a clear blue sky. You totally wouldn't expect to find it in Singapore, it was really really au natural and I hope the government never decides to develop it into a tourist attraction or else it'll just become like another Sentosa ):. Anyway, I'll post pictures of it up when I get it from Boonhwee. Y'knowwhat I think I want to have picnics there more often! :D And before the actual eating, we had Praise&worship - my first worship session out in the open and we sang several songs praising God for his wonderful creations in Nature and being able to really see those brilliant works made me very touched and very joyful; it made me feel really loved. And afterthat, we played a very kiddish but very fun war game which I wish had lasted longer. Haha Ruoting was my horse but someone killed her the instant we started the battle and I was killed too because three people were chasing me at the same time and I felt really defenceless. Hahaha in the end, they managed to capture the princess (Zoe) we were supposed to be protecting.

Day Two's main highlights were the Amazing Race around Bukit Timah (more like the Westy area since it included some stations at Bukit Panjang/Bukit Batok/Bukit Gombak and Jurong East), the night performances (which were really funny and also included a lot of bimbo imitations but then again, some people were like naturals, hoho) and the Night Surprise (which was morbid and scary)! Amazing Race was quite not so amazing. Haha it started off fine and we had a very good (by good, I actually mean filling) lunch at Prince at Coronation Plaza and since we finished eating before lunchtime ended, we tried to go KAP to do our optional station but ended up returning to Coro late anyway. The station at Coro was super spastic and the funnest station! And I think we freaked some people out by growling out the very loud and very low "Say Ra" cheer. Haha I hope it earned us many bonus points. And then we had to go to our next station at CCAB and that's when all the trouble started, because none of us knew how to get there. And we had to desperately call our friends for help and in the end we finally got there after half an hour (even though CCAB was only two stops away from Coro -.-) and quickly finished our station's activity and had to travel back to Upper Bukit Timah Rd again. &thank you very much for helping with the directions to Bukit Panjang LRT, Qihan! In the end we didn't win but it's ok! I hope the sec 1s had fun.

Night Surprise was super scary! Even though most of the people in my group were fine, I just felt really spooked, even though all the "ghosts" were only our sec 4s, but I guess I'm just easily scared by anything containing the element of supernaturality. And in the end it became funny because we even had a "one minute of silence" for the dead and the mourning powerpoint, which was just ridiculous and extremely amusing, especially Yikai's werid alien-ish face haha. Oh no I realise I use a lot of commas, but shen me yong yuan la haha (direct translation = whatever).

Oh I forgot to mention, I love my room mates! Haha Lucy and Ning and I shamelessly photowhored in our dorm in front of the sec 2s and decided to retreat to our bedroom when we realised we were being disturbingly retarded. And we recorded our own multi-cultural concert using Lucy's phone. You may request to see it at the expense of the welfare of your own ears and an additional dollar (in US Currency - we are extremely fussy); songs featured include Muneru Valiba by Mister MV, Chan Mali Chan by The Chan Family, Ke Ren Lai by Daddy's little girl and Untitled by Complicated Plan. Our melodious voices in varying pitches and keys blend harmoniously - no one has ever mentioned that Ning and I are musical prodigies, but the fact is, we are (Shhh.. don't tell anyone, it's been a well-kept secret all these years and we refuse to let the fact that we are musical geniuses interrupt with our daily lives ;D).

And then I left early on the 3rd day with Zhener and Joy for the DISC workshop in school. And oops, even though I thought I've already packed up everything very meticulously, according to Ning, I still left my towel, my toiletries, my socks and my bookmark in the dorm. Hoho, nevermind I'll get it from Lucy and Ning next week.

The DISC test was really accurate. And as predicted, I'm a very high I (Influencing, Interactive, Interested in People) but I didn't expect myself to have such a high S as well. In fact, I am publicly a High I and low S with even a lower D (Dominant, Direct, Decisive) and C (Correct, Controlled, Compliant), but privately my S (Stable, Steady, Secure) is the highest. Though my results was ultimately IS, which I think is pretty true. I am not very assertive (and have been less so over the years because of my increasingly emergent "S" trait and my over-sensitivity/empathy towards others' feelings) and I hate being over-dominant in any group discussion unless I will not dominate it unless I absolutely have to or I am very excited about whatever we're discussing (yeah "I"s are very easily excitable and are very noisy, distracting people, haha). And as for C, hah, just take a look at my desks (both in school and at home) and the only thing that I make an effort to organize and colour-coordinate is my wardrobe, because I hate having to face a pile of crumpled rags. But yeah I know I will have to work on my assertiveness and I really really need to be less blur.

I realise I have been blogging a lot less this year, like averaging about 4 to 5 posts a month (as compared to last year's almost daily posting). I think this is a very good sign. (: But wait, actually I blog less because I spend all my other time on the internet surfing websites like abercrombieandfitch.com, hollister.com, threadless.com, wetseal.com and waiting and waiting for sprees of the above to be posted at a time when my finances are not limited because the shipping fees are super ex (sometimes, it's even more expensive than the item itself, which is really ridiculous). And yay I can't wait for my Threadless tee, which should arrive soon I think (yay thanks Eliza :D).

And oh I feel like changing my blog layout (it'll be peenk again! :D). Ok I'm gonna do that and also finish up some of my ~~holiday~~ homework. I resolve to do Math today. Yesterday, I didn't manage to get anything done because I was busy agonizing over the fact that I didn't get in for the History France Trip even though I'd so badly wanted to (anyway, you can go check inet and you probably got in). And it felt like the end of the world but really, it isn't and I was very very silly to think that way, because actually I have so many other things to thank God for - it's just one history trip, there's no point being all mopy about it (but I guess it's alright to whine a little because whining helps and today I whined to many people, uh especially Ning because she was forever around and available to whine to, I'm so sorry dear). Yeah but anyway I'm sad that there won't be a chance again next year because the history teachers (and the school) have exhausted all their finances. ): But it's ok I can always go to France without being on a school trip!

And you know what, the March Camp made me realise that this year's sec 4s are leaving again and soon, really really soon, it'd be our turn to lead the school. And frankly, I am not ready to be a sec 4 at all. In fact, I'm pretty scared about it and I know I'm going to miss the sec 4s a lot when they're gone because I'm the kind of person who likes having seniors to look up to. My new new year resolutions are: To learn to take care of and be more patient with juniors, to be more patient in general, to be less cranky when dealing with people I don't like, and to be more task-oriented and results-oriented because being too people-oriented and process-oriented may not always be good.

Overdue Tag Replies:

Atiqa - Yeah we musn't! Urrgh Topshop Sale! ): And today, I went to Lido again and Isetan was having a private sale! Double ):

Ning - Haha hey roomie!

Vic - Haha long time no see to you too! And really! I'll ask Jingles again! (Was she called Jingles in kindergarden too?)

Miao - Thank you hubby/wife/spouse! You take care of yourself too ok! Hahaha I remember our rendez-vous under the covers. Omg I realise I sound darn gross.

Davin - Hey, thanks! I'm fine now! (:

Elaine - Wo ye hen ai ni! (: Bu yao you ya li! Yao zhao gu zi ji! And yeah Triumph of the skies was the exact hk show I was talking about when refering to the aeroplane show that made me fall in love with pilots! (: The pilots in there are sooo cute! Photographic evidence below:

And just for the fun of it, a very hot picture I found of Hugh Jackman (ain't he gorgeous ;D, he almost looks like Orlando Bloom here, but ten times better!) :

Shihui - Haha hi Shihui! Thank you very much! I wish you would tell my mum that. xD

Aida - <3. 'Nuff said. (:

Atiqa - Haha Hello! :D

Kellie - Yeah, wriggling your butt is quite fun! Lol.

Issy - jiayou for your common tests too! I hope you did well, I bet you always do well. (: And I hope your parents are easier on your now.

Eveline - Haha Hi Eveline! We haven't talked to or seen each other for so long, I hope you're doing fine. And I read your email but I haven't replied it because I didn't know what to say/was busy. But anyway, jiayou with whatever you're doing and don't give up! God will always find a way for you. And btw, I've found a new church and I'm very happy there. (:

Tq - This is a bit late, but tq (thank you) tq! Haha. There was once at a store I saw this sign "Please queue up, tq" and I nearly gave a double take because uh I thought that store was in some strange way connected to you. xP

Rach - Haha yeah, there's always next year for sunset-viewing and cheer up ok you emokiddo! Haha it's so funny - more than one month has passed since SLI, it's like time passes so quickly now that you're sec 3 and all.
---

And Grace Zhang's birthday is tomorrow, while Ruoting's is on this Sunday. In case I don't get to blog by then, Happy Birthday my dears! You two are some of the sunshines that have brightened up my days <3. And I realise I still owe many many people presents. Will be getting them soon, real soon, I promise. (:

2007-03-08T20:46:00.000+08:00

We got back our math papers today and I didn't exactly do well but I'm glad I passed! (: Ms Koh Chen Chen's a really good math teacher.

Oh, and we've finally finished interviewing T2SL nominees! Weishan and I shall totally be very sleeky and stylish SLICks. xD (I caught Weishan saying "I'm like, okay" today - further proof of her attempts to fit in! hohoho)

The past few days have been very busy and very, how should i put it, interesting, with the exception of SS and Lit tests of course! And I love the place where I'm sitting right now; Jolene and Ally are total loves and groupwork is always fun because Emily/Ning/Aly are super funny and nice. Besides, Aly's provision of Fox sweets and other random snacks we can munch on during Chinese is always a huge bonus!

&March Hols=GB Enrolment+HuangCheng aka Ot Outing+GB Camp+T2SL Briefing+GB Drill Comp+Church with Bea, Shimin and Ruoting+lots and lots of mugging, esp. MATH+shopping+going out with Nongs including Nicole?

Sounds nice eh? ;D But I don't wanna miss Board Camp! ): And for the second time too! Last year I had fever and this year, there's drill comp. GRAH.

Ahh whatever, I look forward to tomorrow because there's lunch with Tq and Elaine and later, hoopefully lots of catching up with the Wonders! (: Yay I love Swim Carn haha and I really really hope we won't have to do our routines tomrrow - we aren't very well prepared, ok more like not prepared at all.

Yawn

2007-03-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

My mum is worried that I'm suffering from malnutrition, because apparently, my hair is yellowing and my horrible, huge eyebags have been expanding.

Hah, wait till I tell her that more than two-thirds of the Rg population looks like that.

MATH.

2007-02-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

I've studied, and I know I've studied. But I just feel very very ill-prepared (in terms of brains, maybe). This is the first time I'm getting so nervous about a test; I really don't want to end up in tears. :/

&Sheesh, who am I kidding - nothing is going fine.

"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

2007-02-25T15:34:00.000+08:00

Yay, the past two days have been very good days. (:

SLI07 was great and very well-planned! (Despite Shimin and I trying not to die of boredom by counting the number of two-syllable words said during the speeches :P) Kudos to the OT, I think they did a fantastic job. I was especially impressed by how it could go so smoothly with so few rehearsals. And Fila, our batch item was wonderful! Yay I think the audience loved it too. Haha, to quote my buddy Lisa, "I was just standing there and listening to you all and you all were singing with so much gusto and enthusiasm I could really feel the togetherness of your batch." Awww I feel so proud of each and every one of us, from the initial sian-don't-wanna-do-anything-we're-so-screwed-let's-just-die to the yay-let's-just-not-care-about-anything-and-do-our-best attitude during the performance. Oh and according to Lisa who's also in choir, we didn't sing out-of-tune at all; that is like amazing because of the existence of people who croak, like me. -Beams- Much love to Fila! And also much thanks to Sheila and Tiq for coordinating everything. (((:

And then I went to Jingles' house and we ~~did~~ attempted to do homework and she showed me her baby and toddler and primary school photos. She was an adorable and very sporty kid! But I think the Jingles now is cuter than the Jingles then, but that's probably because I didn't know the Jingles then.

Haha then we had to go back to school again, Jingles for her congress meeting and me for my Math remedial which I'd desperately needed. I tell you, Koh Chen Chen rocks! Yeah, we sat down for two (or was it three) hours, of which about half was spent on Math and the rest was spent on having a good long chat. (: Y'know I've never been able to have such an open and honest chat with any RGS teacher and still feel so comfortable about it. But Ms Koh's different I guess; I think it's cos she was from RG and she's only 24 so there's like a common background and no generational gap. I felt sooo inspired and motivated after talking with her; arrgh I wish she was our CLE/form teacher! ): Oh well, at least there's still the possibility of her inviting us to her wedding! Haha. Though from prior experience, "possibilities" usually go with the word "remote". Grah. Hah I know, maybe one day she'll become the principal of Rgs (like when Mrs DTan retires, and her successor retires too). Hoho.

Went for Post-SLI chalet with Thashi afterthat and arrived to find nearly everyone gathered around the tv and fangirling over HanaKimi (ok fine, maybe it was just Kellie/Liqi/GraceYeo but lots of people were watching it too). Haha Hanakimi is quite funny but dunno why, I still haven't caught on with the Hanakimi craze yet (even though it took me barely one episode to fall in love with Goong/Fullhouse/Stairway to Heaven/that Hongkong aeroplane show that made me aspire to be a pilot until I realised pilots probably needed to know their sciences well thus I decided to aspire to marry a pilot instead/ONE TREE HILL!). Hah maybe I've just grown indifferent to good television shows. Why can't I suddenly acquire an indifferent attitude towards the computer instead!

Anyway Post-SLI was really good too, yay thank you very much for organizing it, Fior! And especially Liting my dearest buddy who brought almost all the food; I am so proud of you. (: Because Liting was at the 13slc meeting (hahaha I still remembered my own first SLC meeting on the night we were having Post-SLI'06), only Lisa and I talked during Buddytime and we have a very good and meaningful chat. And yay I am so glad I got to know her better because at first I was quite worried we wouldn't really become close, but I think I won't need to worry about that now. And thank you for the feather Kellie! I like it a lot and I don't mind at all, silly! And yeah, even though we are technically not buddies anymore, you'll be my one and only Ex. :D Haha and thank you for the sms that I just received <3 (you're the only one who cared haha).

And Liting m'dear, I'm so sorry I promise I'll make up for the lost buddytime.

Yeah so anyway, Batchtime was really good too. I feel that our batch has really really grown and changed a lot, in a positive way because right now we all feel so comfortable around each other and we can talk to just about anyone! And yesterday, Tq and I were talking and we were commenting about how all our batchmates are so cute haha.

And Fior's item was super cute! Hahaha they roleplayed all the Feans and some of the weirder Filatheians I suppose though heyy why am I known for wriggling my butt (fyi, it was originally Shimin's idea and I merely performed the action)!

And after that I watched A Cinderella Story, which was LOVE. &I don't care how many of you are gonna tell me it's trashy/bimbotic, I think it's super sweet. And and and Princeton<3! Haha. I don't care I'll work super hard and like somehow get into Princeton. Haha oh well, Jingles is right, we probably won't get in but we could always try!

And then it was off to playing cards with Xinmin, Hannah and Weishan and later, Rachel and rofl it was so funny - a lot of inside jokes so I probably wouldn't type them out but it was really hilarious. And yay I totally pwned at Asshole Daidee! I was only an asshole once and most of the time I was the Big Winner. HAR-DEE-HA-HA. ;D

Then we got bored of playing Daidee and we played ~~Indian~~ Guess-the-number Poker which was really fun too. But in the end, we got bored of playing cards altogether so some of us went to sleep and I joined the others in watching Grease. Grease was really funny (and eww the guys were so horny) but I couldn't take it anymore and went to sleep and slept for 2 hours even though I had wanted to pull an all-nighter. Hah oh well. Then went back to school really early with all the House Prac people (thanks for the ride, Tiq) and slept again in the Pb room and had wanted to wake up at 8.10 but woke up at 9 instead. And I was like Shittt I'm gonna be late for the leadership workshop thingum! But luckily registration ended at 9.30 so I wasn't late afterall! (:

So with a grand total of 3 hours' sleep I went for the thingum at SMU and enjoyed myself and it was really much more fun that what I'd expected. Like different from the usual Fishballs (inside joke xD) kind of training and it sort of felt like OBS too cuz we kinda did hands-on learning and very little classroom-ish learning. And my group was cool! We were so enthu haha; it was really nice how we kind of bonded over such a short period of time. Kuan Tong Kuan Tong all the wayyy. I'll treat you to ice-cream if you can guess what "Kuan Tong" means. :P

And went to watch "Just Follow Law" with my parents later that night; it was really really funny! Haha. Kind of like retarded-funny and spastic-funny but still, really really funny. Though the ending was really unsatisfying and I felt so sorry for Tanya; imagine having to be stuck with a guy's body forever! Oh and the government working procedures portrayed in the movie bore a strange sort of resemblance to the working procedures of Pb, albeit it was a gross exaggeration. And when Tanya/Lim-guy nearly messed up the Work Fair, I kinda got reminded of Badge Initiation, which I major screwed up and it got me all emo. But oh well, I've thought it through and I was fine this morning. (:

Ah anyway, I know this song is really old but it really touched me when I heard it, especially when Carrie wrote on her website that this song is about her and her mum.

Don't Forget To Remember Me - Carrie Underwood

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
'Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me'

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
'Hey momma, don't forget to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-ma that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me'

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
'Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
Yeah, I know there are more important things,
But don't forget to remember me
But don't forget to remember me'

Confused.

2007-02-21T23:02:00.001+08:00

Oh no, Math makes me feel stupid and lousy. ):

Anyway, I've been reading a few ljs and have found that some of my friends really seem very troubled over the whole Creationism Vs Evolutionism thing. I dunno why but somehow, I don't feel nearly as upset as they do. I mean, usually I do feel emphatic about issues regarding Christianity, or actually most of the time, I feel confused. But this time round, I think I've oversimplified matters and have been too inclined to taking things at its face value. Either that, or I don't care at all, which is absolutely untrue (I think!). I firmly believe in the Creationist theory but that doesn't mean I am against all parts of the Evolutionary theory because we'll never know if Evolution - or maybe the adaptation part - was part of God's creation process. It's just like how we don't know if by the days He took to create the world, did he mean a human-day (in which case it would be 24 hours) or if he meant a God-day (which is probably like a few hundred human years). I guess it all boils down to one thing: the belief that everything is God-centred. I think that's what helped me get through so many uncertainties and confusions, because I am not well-informed regarding Scientific matters and neither am I well-versed with regard to the bible. But it is still worrying that I have not found the Evolution Vs Creation issue very thought-provoking; maybe it's because I'm not a very mature Christian and I do not probe very deeply into things.

Hmm. I don't know, I'm still pretty confused but to the people who are scared: I'll pray for you. And I'm sure it'll help, even if it's just a little.

And thank you for the tags, I'll reply them some time soon & hope y'all have had a good CNY. :)

What's wrong with her!

2007-02-18T20:12:00.000+08:00

I knew there was something wrong when I found a few hershey's kisses being really out of place in this big bowl of CNY candies: My amazingly smart mummy has taken out my VDay chocolates and thrown everything else away, i.e. all my Valentine's notes/letters. And she claims it's because they are useless and cluttering up the living room, and also because I've read them already. Grr.

I. Am. Going. To. Sulk.

):

Even if I'm going to appear like a socially inept loser in front of all my cousins.

"More than just a quiet child that awaits the day she can break free"

2007-02-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

This week has been really eventful, and pretty fun too. There were the horrifying SLI rehearsals where our batch totally screwed up (but it's only cuz we were saving our best for the actual thing :D). Then there was Ms Koh and Ms Lim being ~~begged~~ nicely persuaded by us into sharing their life stories, and the really lovely Valentine's Day, and Total Defence day where we watched this video that was really saddening, and CNY celebrations, also the going-back-to-primary-school day. Oh, also, have had lots of going out, like the shopping date with Ruoting on VDay (fellow shopahogeek <3), and just hanging around with Nongs (minus Nicole, it's ok dear) yesterday and today's funny fun fun outing with Jingles+Mich+Rachy!

I think Fila's really getting loads better at our batch item (: , even though I honestly don't think Fila is very good at singing; in fact we are corny and cheesy and funny and spastic and lame and funky and creative and dancey... anything but singy. Yeah but we're really improving in our singing, just like how Fea's getting better and becoming really cool in their dancing. :D

And yeah I know this is probably old news already but I think the story of how Ms Koh and her fiance got together was super sweeeeeet. Basically, they were having this party or something and playing Truth or Dare. Then Ms Koh's fiance Eric was asked to name a girl he would get together with out of all the girls present and he said Ms Koh's name. And when it was Ms Koh's turn, she said Eric's name! :P It's like so chick flick/taiwanese drama plotline-ish. Yeah but I think it's actually pretty cool even though everyone seems to think it's super cheesy!

And hahaha Ms Lim and the super funny line she said to her current hubby when he first tried to suggest a more-than-friends date: Want go out then go out la, so complicated for whaat!

Yesterday's CNY celebrations were ok but I'm really glad I got the chance to talk to Sam though! (: It was nice and amusing and I miss 209 ahhhhh. Hey Sam if you're reading this, thank you very much for what you wrote on your lj. It's ok, you needn't feel sad for me cuz I kinda was asking for it, I guess? And anyway, I love you too. Hug.

Went back to Nanhua thereafter and had a pleasant chat with Ms Wong <3 where I got a bit nostalgic and started thinking about some of the stuff that used to happen when I was in p5/p6. It's so sad that Ms Heng isn't teaching there anymore, and even sadder that I barely speak a word to the people I used to be really close to in p6. Because of springcleaning, I've been digging up those pretty notebooks we once called "autograph books" and have been squirming at how childish we used to be, as well as the horrendous number of grammatical/spelling errors we made on purpose. I think I still remember very clearly one guy who claimed, 'You girls can't even spell properly, why must "Friends" become "Frenzzz"' But anyway, aside from that those books also reminded me of a lot of fond memories of the friendships and the fun back then (and also the deeply embarrassing incidents). And y'know what I think I was a completely stupid and self-centred kid in primary school and that I've done a lot of dumb things in the past, even in sec 1 and 2 and I'll bet they would continue to torment me as dark and incriminating secrets of my past (which isn't even a very long past yet).

And even though I can't really feel the spirit of Chinese New Year (other than that tinge of guilty pleasure of being able to sleep a lot and eat a lot and watchtv a lot and onetreehill a lot),

Here's wishing everyone a Happy Chinese New Year. And may you receive lots of angpaos and mandarin oranges and eat plenty of candies and chocolate and abalone. And may you not be bored stiff while visiting those distant-but-oh-so-close relatives.

Ok, I'm off to bed now! Oh yeah and have I ever mentioned how much I love Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard Confessionals? Yeah I think I have:

Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

This Old Wound - Dashboard Confessionals
I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new
Sometimes eyes turn black,
And sometimes scars are tracks
But every time that you’re gone
I wish that you’d come back

And everyone watched me waste myself
And everyone cheered at last
And all of them found it comforting
Its better it’s me then them.

I think I’m doing well from what they say
They’ve taken both my belt and shoelaces away
Well I believe in luck
I think I do
Well I believe for sure
If ever I see you

I’ve been fanning flames from these old coals
Feeding them with tender
And hoping they will grow
And I’ve been savoring
What I can’t hold
A blind belief in goodness
That doesn’t seem to show

But I’ve been bleeding well
From this old wound
Cleaning it with salt,
So it will still feel new

2007-02-15T19:56:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry. This is the last time I'm going to say sorry, I promise.

And I'll have to do something, whatever it is, to keep myself from feeling all that frustration for no apparent reason (and showing it so blatantly too). I think I'll pray. I haven't been doing my QT properly and regularly these few days and I feel awfully guilty about it.

And I need to find a new church. I need those sermons and I need the fellowship and most importantly, I need the time for praise&worship (somehow, doing it alone just doesn't feel, and probably isn't, right).

&Thank you Eunice.

Happy Valentine's Day! (:

2007-02-14T20:51:00.000+08:00

Even though like everyone says Vday is overrated and commercialized, I still think it's the sweetest day ever and it's so heartwarming to see everyone show their love for everyone else in school. You know that's like one of the biggest things I love about my school; even when we're all caught up in our own busy schedules we still do take the time to show our love and appreciation for one another.

So here's a big big HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all of you out there, no matter who you're celebrating it with - your besties, your family or that special someone.

And although I didn't manage to bake everyone a peanut butter heart-shaped cookie, thank you so much for all the little (or big) things you've done in the past one year that have made me smile or made my day:
NONGS! Tzeqing Elaine Nicole (Let's stay friends; Always & Forever, yes?)
Wonders! Aida Munya Zaff Roy Vanessa (I always look forward to bumping into you guys at the canteen/random staircases and getting big bear hugs :D)
Kellie the EX. ('nuff said :D)
Vivien & Joyce (Thank you for everything that happened during slc, and thank you for everything that happened after slc. )
Chua Shimin (Vandy B, you can't imagine how lovable you are. And you never fail to make me smile)
EuNICE (Eu are very Nice. :P)
Issy! (my ever-faithful tagger. ;D Heee)
Ruoting (you RUOCK okay. :D)
NING! (yes stunNING, shiNING, winNING girl)
Jingles! (dear dear fellow member of the Jumping Jellybeans)
Rachy! (even though we don't sit next to each other anymore, it was really nice sitting next to you. And thank you for being one of my first friends in 315.)
Michy! (Still remember our "I-miss-OBS" rants. HAha. )
Lisa and Liting (New buddies for the year! :D)
Lyn! (Lynnnn on me! :P)
Jinyao and Qihan (Thank you for the support during that very difficult period)
Rach Oon! (From the sudden realisation that you're nice to all the times we talked about *, you've been a great listener)
Debb Yuen (We haven't talked for so long Debbie I hope you see this and I hope you're doing fine)
Grace Zhang (Thanks for talking the other time and that other time and that other other time!)
Andrea (Haha even though you look pai, I don't think you're pai and I'm glad I got to know you a bit better xD)
Ally, Jolene, Ally, Emily (my wonderful current seatmates)
Fila (you guys are the bestest!)
Washington Watch 07 (you guys rocked my OBS experience :D)

Ok fine, a lot more people but I have to go do homework now.

Anw,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINGLES!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANIN!

Because every girl deserves to feel proud of herself and know how beautiful she really is

2007-02-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

Videos taken from The Dove Campaign for real beauty. They are really inspiring videos and I'm super glad to see that there are actually companies out there (no matter how commercialized and superficial this world is) who care.

Even if I have no real talents, I think I'm beautiful. So are you. (:

P.S I love the song in the second ad. The voices sound so pure and innocent.

[Edit] I think this is the Asian version. (:

And thanks Miao and Chloe. (: And Hi Vivien and Liqi and Huishan and Issy.

2007-02-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

You know during CLE yesterday, I was actually prompted to think about my ambitions and goals in life. And I realised a rather sad fact, that I don't actually have any long-term goals or aspirations I desperately want to achieve. Ok, maybe you can count me wanting to go Princeton as a sort of long-term goal, but I don't even desperately want to get to Princeton. And it's just a dream; a fantasy more like it. I'm fine with NUS. (:

Anyway, the thing is, I don't know what to do with my life once I get out of university. Yeah yeah I know I can always uh marry a rich guy and lounge off the rest of my life being a taitai. But I wanna do something useful. Which brings me to my point, I really really wanna know God's purpose for creating me, and for my life. Because then I can start working towards fulfilling His plan for me right now. 'Else I feel so purposeless, like I'm drifting around. Ok actually, I do have loads and loads of short-term goals to work towards for now, but it would still be really good to know what the destiny that awaits me is.

And oh during Career Ed today there was this really spastic video that kept asking us to think about our strengths, yadayada. And I realised I don't have any strengths. I mean all I can think of is a number of weaknesses, but other than that, I'm ok in everything else. Yeah, just that - ok. I think I'm like this jack of all trades and master of none. Oh well, maybe one day I'll miraculously discover I have a hidden talent for carpenting. Oh wait, I already know I have zero talent in carpenting, because of D & T in sec 1. Oh wellll.

Anyway, just now I happened to see this couple having their couple-ish conversation really loudly and I happened to overhear them. And I couldn't help bursting in indignancy. In fact, I was wondering why on earth would the girl be smilling and giggling when the guy called her a "Dumbass" in a very annoyed tone. And as if that weren't offensive enough, the guy had to add "Dumbass bimbo!" in the exact same snappish tone. And of all the reactions she could have given, the girl proceeded to lay her head on his shoulder. :/ Grah.

I know it's none of my business, but still! I can't stand how unreasonably domineering the guy is and how meek and submissive the girl is.

Anyway, tag replies:
Kellie: Oh cuz not all the cheerleaders get to perform at Sports Fest and Buckle has a lot of sec 4s this year. Yeah, that's why. (:

Charlton+Issy: haha oh, ok! And Issy dear I got it, will reply some time soon.

Ning: -flashes loser sign- HAH! xD

And in the midst of exhaustion and self-doubt

2007-02-05T20:47:00.000+08:00

Still - Hillsong

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

Life.

2007-02-04T13:52:00.000+08:00

Went for the wake yesterday. And I think Victoria's really really brave. I'll bet she was hurting real bad inside, but she still managed to appear so composed. And I think her dad was a great and awesome man; from everything I've heard, he was someone who could naturally command much respect, someone with a lot of charisma, and in general, he was a kind and generous man. He sounded almost perfect. I felt quite sad that such an amazing guy could just pass on like that. But I guess God has His reasons. And at least, he's in Heaven right now.

But still, Victoria, her brother and her sister are so young, especially her sister who's barely seven. So please keep them in your prayers, whatever your religion is.

Y'know, all these deaths taking place around me has really prompted me to think. What if the same thing happens to me? I don't really have an answer right now but I've gotta learn to treasure the people around me, especially my parents.
---

School's been going fine; everything's been going fine actually. Except for math! Stupid stupid stupid math. I can't stand how everyone else seems to get it and I'm still staring at the confusing lot of figures, desperately trying to get something out of it. As if my staring would even help. Numbers have suddenly begun to seem so hostile and scary. :/ I just cannot figure out figures la.

People have been asking me how 315's been. So my answer is, 315 has been great! Yeah, especially Rachy and Shanin my darling seatmates (who're always bullying me!), Shimin and Wencen who sit in front of me + Bea my seatmate during Geog lessons, WinNing the loser who lives really near me, Andrea my RaHist partner, and Michy who's really sensible and nice and Jingles who's super cute and funny. And apparently, Jingles and I are rubbing off each other, in terms of behaviour, just like how Tq and I have been rubbing off each other in terms of physical appearance. Anyway, I think 315 has many cute and amusing people. Oh but like I said, I think 415`08 is gonna be super fat because we're now allowed to eat in nearly half the lessons everyday. I love jellybeans!

And I've just finished "Do androids dream of electric sheep?". It is really really good. It's just about the best science fiction I've read, other than Artemis Fowl of course. xD And anyway I can't imagine how science would be used in the future generation, or if science might even transcend moral boundaries. Ahhh that would be really freaky.

Oh and Cheerleading! I hope I don't look gross/disgusting when I dance. And sports fest team trials next Saturday. Eeek. I doubt I'll get in. Still, cheerleading has proved to be good exercise, because my mum claims that my thighs have gotten uh less fat.

Oh you know, like whenever I hear Fast&Furious or My Hips Don't Lie now, I feel like dancing.

DARRRRRRN. Blogger just ate up all my tag replies cuz of some stupid emoticon sign. Grah. Stupid blogger. Anyway,

Tq, I heart you and I hug you ok! Jiayou!

And thank you for tagging, everyone else.

A new wave of emotions

2007-01-31T21:08:00.000+08:00

Been listening to the pink mixtape again (thanks laine).

"Not good enough" - didn't you ever think that it would go both ways?

I guess not huh.

It's been what, a month? And it still brings back the same aching emptiness. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. It feels so wrong. Disjointed thoughts that don't make sense again. Grah.
---

Dear Jamie... Sincerely Me - Hello Goodbye

Dear Jamie I've got a letter I would like to send
It's lacking strings of words with punctuation at the end.
Should I trust this dialect?
To convey the right effect?

Dear Jamie I've got some things I'd like to set in pen
I would have used a pencil but lead's just not permanent.
Should I trust my printer's ink?
To express the things I think?

Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest
With inside jokes and all the folks could have much more to say

Dear Jamie this envelope will represent my heart
I'll seal it, send it off and wish it luck with its depart.
This stamp will be every action that carry my affection
Across the air and land and sea
Should I trust the postage due?
To deliver my heart to you?

Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest
With inside jokes and other folks who have much more to say
Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest
With inside jokes and other folks who have much more to say

Give you all I can
Flower and a hand
I hope this helps you see
Signed Sincerely me.

2007-01-28T17:44:00.000+08:00

I never thought things like that would actually happen.

And so close to us too. And she was our age and she was just living her life like everyone else. And then she had to go. I don't know who she is but I think she was a brave little girl, to have gone through all the pains of an illness and yet still live a life worth remembering and leaving her mark on others, right before her death.

Even though I'm not directly affected through this incident, it somehow still left an impact on me; I can't imagine how upset her friends and especially her family must be. I think they're really strong.

But i think they'll really need God too. Please pray for them.
---

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"
Matthew 5:4

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He will rescue those who are crushed in spirit"
Psalms 34:18

Lessons, Other random stuff and The notebook

2007-01-26T16:03:00.000+08:00

Yay I'm happy because today is one of the rare days I get to go home early and just rot. xD (ROTTING! hohoho)

Anyway, lessons have started proper and ohmygosh it's really true when they say sec 3 year is crazy. It's only been the first official week of school (the other weeks were all getting-to-know-you stuffies and OBS) and they're already starting to pile us with like truckloads of worksheets and notes; I can't imagine what pre-EOI weeks would be like. -shudder-

And I've begun to have the tendency to want to sleep during lessons now. It's just that I never dare to. I can't stand that horrible horrible feeling of desperately wanting to close your eyes and lay your head down on the table but not daring to because you feel as though the teacher's permanently staring at you even though she probably wasn't. Grahh. Sleeping in class makes me feel guilty and I can't believe of all lessons, I'm now super sleepy during Lit, which was like my favourite subject in sec 1! ): And now I kinda regret taking Lit because every Lit lesson, I just cannot concentrate and my mind will keep zoning out or else I'll just keep trying to stop myself from falling asleep. And WHY are we doing Frankenstein! Oh well, at least Pygmalion sounds interesting.

Even Geog appears more attractive than Lit. And I actually enjoy doing Geog homework. :P Gives me a great sense of satisfaction (cuz it took me like 45min to complete that single map-reading exercise) even though eventually I get most of the answers wrong anyway. Sheesh I sound really stupid. Haha.

And Math! Double ): I think I really need to work super duper ultra hard at Math or else I might just fail everything. It's getting so difficult! Like I'm just taking in everything really slowly and even Algebra isn't fun anymore! Grahh I hate surds and indices. And oh lucky me! We're doing coordinate geometry AGAIN, and I thought all the nightmarish stuff I've been through last year was just that - something that was only taught last year. Hah oh well, at least Ms Koh is a wonderful teacher! Yay I love Ms Koh Chen Chen.

Haha thankfully History and Social Studies are much much more fun! :D I love HistRa and SS - they are the COOLEST subjects in the world! And I tell you these are just about the only lessons I manage to stay all bright-eyed and clear-headed in. And besides, Colman Chua is just too amusing to not pay attention to.

And oh Bio's looking good too! (: Yeah even though discussing about "What is life" seems totally pointless, it's actually pretty fun. And yay I hope we get to watch more videos of animals interacting with each other. Super cute!

And ahhh HSSRP with Tq. xP We haven't done anything yet, 'cept borrow books with big intellectual titles like "Blah blah globalization", "blah blah economy" and "blah blah blah". Will find the time to read them (Maybe I'll learn from Hermione from Harry Potter and use them for light bedtime reading), but meanwhile I'll keep convincing myself that they are a really fascinating and fresh read, and that intellectually-stimulating books are in essence, good for my health.

~~DARN, I HATE SCHOOL!~~

I MISS OBS! Yeah I think I still do. ):

And I haven't touched One Tree Hill since like forever. ): Will find the time to do that too, preferably this weekend (oh who am I kidding).

And I haven't been doing my Quiet Time properly since OBS! ): Grahhh. It's not the prayers part, it's the bible part and you know I feel so guilty because God has not stopped blessing me and I can't even do simple things like that.

And Eveline, I haven't lost my faith or anything. It's just other things. I think I'll tell you one day. I think I need to talk to you too. Been pretty confused about some stuff.

And oh, on a sidenote, I've just discovered something really really cool in school! Heh it rhymes. But anyway, I think the CFC is a great and awesome thing, and the fact that such a thing exists in a secular school is even cooler, plus the fact that I'm in this entire community of christians; I think I'm really lucky, or we're really lucky. (:

Tag Replies
Mich - HI MICHELLE! Haha I still can't believe I gave you the wrong number. The fact that it was my own number just makes it worse. o.o Haha sorry 'bout that.<3 you too! Haha yay I just applied what you taught me! :D

Elaine - Yeahhhh. Anyway, how've you been! We haven't talked properly in like ages. Will try to get on to MSN one of these days ok! (:

Huishan - Ohhh it's Mount kinabalu! Haha anyway, I don't see the reason for climbing mountains. Other than physically challenging yourself, I think it's kinda pointless. Sorry I'm not an outdoors-y person. XP

Siying - Haha YO Siying, neither was I being serious! :P

Charlton - Haha OBMongolia sounds super cool! But huh does such a place even exist?

Gwen - Hello Gwendoline!

Rach - HAHA yes yes it was. I bet you're super jealous now. :PP Anyway pfffft I'm like still super chaotah ok. THE TAN ISN'T FADING! ): I hate being black, cuz that means I'm not bright anymore, which also explains why i'm so stupid nowadays. (HAHA geddit?)
---

P.S. Only when you lose something and realise the repercussions of that loss do you really learn to treasure it and really make an effort in keeping it safe so that you would not lose it again. I think God does deliver essential lessons in small but severe doses. I have never before felt that warm fuzzy feeling I get now whenever I reach into my pocket and get reassured by the slightly bulky green prescence and the knowledge that it's safely tucked inside. Sounds ridiculous but you wouldn't know how it feels until one day you end up in my shoes, which, I really hope, won't happen. (:

I SURVIVED OBS! :D

2007-01-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

Yay you know what I LOVE OBS! -biggrin-

And I think I'm really really lucky that I got Residential Sea Exp, that I got such a nice instructor and that I got a nice and friendly watch. Yeah and also plus the fact that I didn't get sunburnt at all (I've never gotten sunburnt in my entire life; I don't burn I just turn black, I think) and I hope all the people who got sunburnt will get well soon cuz the sunburns look really painful.

You know all the silly stuff I was worrying about initially (read previous post, hoho) was just so SILLY. Like I totally didn't see any wild boars and neither did I have to dig a hole so I could pee, because firstly we had to pee/shit in the sea and secondly, I could hold my bladder really well haha.

Yeah so the weirdest thing is, I arrived at the place feeling utterly miserable, because I was dreading everything that was going to come my way and I left the place feeling just as miserable, because I was already beginning to miss the place and also because I was dreading having to return to my normal, dreary daily routine. But the prospects of having a good clean and warm shower did cheer me up a whole lot though!

Haha anyway, I LOVE MY WATCH WASHINGTON and our instructor WEE WEE!

Sheesh I had to remove the heart sign cuz blogger always reads it as an open html tag so now there's this whole chunk of text that's been eaten up and I forgot what I've written. I don't like blogger! So anyway I think I said something about Ning being my kayaking partner and how she rocks! And oh something else about how Day 2 was really really fun and much more fun than day 1 where we only did climbing activities and learnt how to pitch a basha. So moving on, on day 2 Ning and I spent a ~~bit of a~~ very hard time trying to kayak from Camp 1 to Camp 2 because we kept allowing ourselves to drift around in circles, and that made us worried about the actual sea expedition we were going to embark on the following day but we made it anyway! HAHA yay I love Ning my kayaking partner!

Anyway, after kayaking, we did some more climbing activities and it was so nice seeing everyone climb so high up and like cheering for each other. But unfortunately, I'm scared of heights (as in really the I-feel-like-the-world-is-spinning-when-I'm-high-up kind of fear of heights) and I was crying to be let down by the time I was on the third (or maybe even second) step of the snake and ladder thing, which made me seem like a real loser, I know. Hoh but ahh well, I couldn't help it!

Day 3 was really draining. We finally set off for Sembawang on our kayaks and I tell you I'm really really glad Ning was my kayaking partner! It was so fun doing it with her; at one point we were being totally spastic and random by singing songs and oh re-enacting certain cantata scenes and telling each other blond jokes. And I'm thankful she was always asking if I was ok and she never complained whenever I'd needed little breaks here and there and especially after we beached up at Seletar Island and set off again when I was really reaching the point of complete exhaustion and felt no motivation whatsoever to continue kayaking. That was when Ning kept trying to spur me on and encourage me even though I could barely hear half of what she was saying since I was already half falling asleep (I don't know how I did it but I think I kayaked with my eyes closed for several minutes). Yeah so anyway, THANKS NING! :D

You know we spent like 9 hours kayaking against the tide and when we finally reached shore, we had to carry all the kayaks up away from the rising tide. Looking back, I really don't know how we managed to do it. Yeah but kayaking back to Ubin again was much easier because we were with tide and it only took about 3 hours. Can you imagine the tide could actually make a difference of 6 hours? Yeah and anyway, throughout the kayaking it was really nice to hear everyone give shouts of encouragement to each other and it was really nice to receive encouragement as well. (:

Camping out on Sembawang wasn't as bad as I first perceived it to be. Even though the lack of civillisation and hygiene and everything really dampened my spirits and made me want to cry, I guess I still had to live with it. So we all got down to work and I was really glad I got to help with the cooking because if I had to pitch the basha and seriously face the sleeping conditions I had to go through later on, I would have really broken down. But anyway, cooking was super fun and yeah like what many others have mentioned, I think our watch really bonds and cooperates with each other super well over food. Hoho, it's like the need for FOOD is this huge common thing that we all share. And it was funny, because our rice was half uncooked and we could all taste crunchy bits but we still stuck to it anyway. And sharing a few mess tins amongst ourselves was pretty heartwarming too.

And then back at Ubin, the jetty jump was really exciting but super scary at the same time. And you know how I'm afraid of heights? It took me forever to just walk out to the edge of the plank and when I finally sank into the water, I felt as though I was gonna drown. But thank God for the lifevest. Hoho. And I should really start to go swimming a bit more because I realised it's quite essential for survival.

And then washing the groundsheets at the washing point was super fun and pretty bonding as well. And omg Ooishimin and her crazy antics! And lol LoserNing and her constant washing of her pocket because the mopiko uncapped itself and there was a whole load of Mopiko stuck in her pocket. And after the washing, we had this mini gossip cum eating session in our dorm and it was super amusing, especially when Wee How joined in later on and we started bitching about all our teachers. Our watch finally sitting down to have some nice good chitchatting; that felt really good. (:

And you know what, even though I'm like this hygiene freak and I'm really not a very adventurous and outdoors-y kind of of person, I'm still really glad I went for OBS. Cuz OBS exposed me to things I would have never thought of doing and things I would probably never get the chance to do again. Also, I guess I did learn a lot of things about tolerance, patience, perspectives and sacrificing, which I won't elaborate on because I have already written about them in my obs journal. And there are a lot of things about OBS I will never forget, like how people peed in the sea, how I had to pee on the grass, Wee How's super short FBTs, and especially Washington, who made the whole experience even more eventful and unforgettable than it already is. Even though I mighn't have gotten close to everyone in Washington, I can still say that I'm super happy I got them as my watch.

And oh did I say that I love 315? Yep I do. (:

Haha ok, this post sounds super disjointed but whatever, I'm going to have a little rest and do some homework now. Byebye! :D

[EDIT]
I think I can be emotionally strong but I am really really weak in the physical aspect. And I think I'm finally starting to take note of the fact that I'm sec 3 already, now that even OBS is over. And I'm missing OBS even though at OBS, I was missing home. And I think OBS didn't make me fitter but made me gain a even huger apetite (if it is even possible) than what I had prior to OBS. And I think I kind of regret the fact that I wasn't brave enough to overcome my fear of heights during OBS.
[/EDIT]

[EDIT AGAIN]
Tag replies! (:

Tq - haha Heyyyy! :D Yay we're gonna meet our good old teddy bear soon.
Nicole - haha Nicole my posts are like so not emo okay! And ehh you take care, hear that? Yeah. I hope you were at least happy on your birthday (:
Elaine - haha yeahh gotta admit you've got a cool taste in music. :P And yess Elaine I miss obs! Even though I was dreading it at first. Oh poo poo la!
Kellie - Yay hi Kellie! And yeahh I did have fun at OBS. :D Go you and your bodywave!
Jane - Hey Jane! (: Thanks. You were great too! Seriously, you're one enthu comm member!
Huishan - Hey! Haha school's been really fun and busy.
Issy - haha Ieeeeeeesy!!! Hey I gotta send you an email some time soon. To "briefly explain" what's been going on in my life lately. xP And ok fine then don't bother going for french since you won't be able to see me anyway. Hahaha. And no I'm not pro ok, never have been either! Bah. You take care too! (:
Kellie - HELLO KELLIE!
Yining - Haha Ning! At least we get to see each other on Monday again eh! xD You know what I think I'll stop calling you a loser (even though then I'll have to sacrifice being a winner since two losers make a winner) and start calling you Winnerning for once (maybe just for one day, hoho). But anyway, you were a really brilliant and fun and lovely watchmate ok! This is where I should insert the heart sign with the funny arrowey sign and the number 3 but unfortunately, stupid blogger wouldn't allow it. Heehee. And oh I am reeeeeeally not a bimbo, c'mon! :P
Charlton - Lol yeahhh I know you guys went to climb Mount Kinobalu or some other weird-sounding mountain in Sabah. But anyway hah, that just means that y'all missed all the fun in OBSingapore and its funky+supernice instructors! And I'm like seriously black, like the blackness of bbq-ed chicken wings. ): (And just ignore the "mean" part if you didn't get it heh.)
Michelle - Hey Michelle! And yes ahhhh I have a blog! :D
Sarah - Haha HELLO Sarah you do sound high! (: Stayyyy that way.
Siying - YO Siying! Hohoho. Future hadley capt, eh! All you Hadlians gotta vote for Siying when the time comes! :D

[/EDIT AGAIN]

Orientation and a whole load of other stuff.

2007-01-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

Learning points, learning points.

Yeah I think there were some big lessons learnt. And hopefully, I won't make the same mistakes again. Yeah but then again, I tend to repeat mistakes (as seen from my primary school assessment books) many many times before I finally get them right. But yeah this is a different situation anyway, and gotta be optimistic too.

The day of Night Surprise and the last day of Orientation, where the sec 1s were truly cheering their hearts out, was probably my favourite days of Orientation. HAHA especially Night Surprise, even though the dance wasn't perfect I think Fila did a great job. (: Yay I love Filatheia and I love how in Fila, you can just talk to anyone and everyone just about everything. I love how we're all there for each other too. Yay I think Fila will rock SLI too, even though we ain't gonna dance. Hoho.. we shall challenge ourselves by singing! Just like how Fea is challenging themselves by dancing and apparently doing multiple bodywaves. Go Ex! And Go Lisa!

You know this is like my third Orientation and I realised that each year, the experience I get from Orientation is different, even though it is the same event. If you're a sec 1, you're probably there to just enjoy yourself as much as possible and you're introduced to the school culture, and if you're sec 2, you're there to be high and add some life to the whole event (plus of course all the random duties and stuff), and if you're sec 3, you gotta make sure things are going fine, and if you're sec 4, you come in when things start going wrong. Yeah quite a few generalizations here but I guess it's something like that.

Haha anyway now that Orientation's finally over, I can relax a bit too. Oh wait dang, there's the report!

And haha you know I hate sleeping. Cuz sleeping makes me feel so lonely, like I'm out there alone in the darkness and there's nobody around. Most of the time, I know there's God. But sometimes I would really love a good old physical cuddle. But too bad I'm so old and I don't get to sleep next to my mum anymore. Yeah, which is why I sleep with soft toys. And also, which is why I always emo when I'm in bed. Haha yeah, when you can't sleep, you think of lots of random things.

Ok, I just came back from shopping for all the little OBS necessities and got to go and pack for obs now. >:( I'm pretty worried and scared for OBS, like what if I don't bring enough clothes, or what if I really have to dig a hole to pee or poo (and then I'll have to strive for accuracy).

And oh my mum just bought me a Hello Kitty umbrella. She claims it's really cute. (Now you know why I was decked in Barbie from head to toe when I was a kid)

Oh well, tag replies!

Elaine - haha thank you elaine! (: HEART YOU.
Ning - Hello Yining the person I take the bus with everyday!
Charlton - Uh yeah I guess. Yeah some guys can be pretty big cowards. No prizes for guessing who! Oh wait sorry that sounded mean. Nevermind, hello!
Tq - Hey haha thanks. (: Even though I'm neither. And hey Tq, everyone loves you a lot too. Maybe if you think about them when you're feeling down, it would make you feel better.
Rach - Haha yeah thanks Rachel! And yeah you know if I were a guy, I'd have to go through NS so maybe I'd rather not be a guy. :P
Nicole - Haha look Nicole, I just gave you sth happy to tag about! x)
Aida - Aidaaaaaaa! ): Movie date soon?
Elaine - Haha alrighty I just posted sth happy.
Issy - Haha it's ok, Issy. <3 Stop ponning your french class ok! (: And lily loy really isn't that bad. She's a sweet little woman.
Elaine - Oh man Elaine, hope you won't fall sick cos of that! And I totally know whose fault it is that you guys had to sleep in the gallery. GRAH!
Kellie - Haha yeahh. Some strange affinity between us I suppose. xD But it's nice though, you're so reassuring! THANKS for that. (:
Juan - Hey! Haha I like you cuz you are cute. And oh man poor rebecca whatshername. :P

P.S. I love the mixtape Elaine made for me. Am listening to it now and I tell it's the only CD that I listen to without having to skip songs. It's super good music!

P.P.S. Cheerleading! I was slow but it was fun! Haha and even though I'm like not good at dancing, I still like it. Yeah even though according to Grace Zhang, dancing is sensual, I still like it. Yeah, the dancing part I mean, definitely not the sensual part. And besides, dancing is really good exercise!

P.P.P.S. Tq and I totally malu-ed ourselves again during the bore-our-ass-off HSSRP workshop. Ehhh lousy proposal but it's ok, at least now we know how to improve on it! (: And uh Tq, I googled Kwok Kian Woon and apparently he has this whole paragraph full of intellectual interests. We have ZERO intellectual interests (and I don't think I'm even interest in the term "intellectual" itself") - WHAT TO DO?

2007-01-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

I went to read the stupid thing again.

Even though I know I shouldn't. Yeah you know I used to tYpE lyke dAt 2. 'Cept that I did that when I was in p6, or sec 1. Anyhow, I grew up.

And some of you probably don't think there's anything wrong with tYpInG lyke dAt. But maybe I'm just biased.

I know it's really wrong of me to, but I really really can't help thinking why her. ~~And why not me~~
-----
During today's GB session, I thanked God with all my heart because he has truly blessed me with lots of things. And GB's motto "to seek serve and follow Christ" - somehow it just inspired me. But right now I feel like a hypocrite because my mind is filled with sinful and negative thoughts. You know I really really want to know God's plans for me and I want to know what my calling is. I really do. And I really don't want to be so bothered as well; it's so wrong.

I think I'm just not strong enough.

Yeah I wish I were a guy. I mean, at least guys are strong and I dunno... brave?

"So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better" - The Brilliant Dance

2007-01-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

I love my class. 315. (: Yeah I think they're nice and really friendly people, despite me being the only non-gep and all.

Yeah and I like the form teacher. He's really funny in a weird way. Like funny-weird. Yeah. But sort of like funny-weird-nice.

And I like my french class too. Mlle Harry Villain. She's really nice and yesterday I actually went home feeling like I've learnt something. And you know if you pronounce "villain" the french way (which is vilan.. like Milan), it actually sounds nice. And the best part? Munya and Eunice are both in my class! x) And Issy, fyi, your friend Natalie is in my french class too.

And you won't believe this; it's incredible - Tq and I actually got accepted into HSSRP. We were so shocked. I mean, it's a really long story but yeah we thought we didn't even submit the proposal or something. Or that stupid undertaking form. We just found out today and we still have no idea how we got accepted. And apparently, our mentor's clueless too (yeah tzeqing I somehow bumped into Mrs Ho after school). And we're really really sorry Lyn, Yifei, ChngYan!

Oh and I finally learnt the thingum! Involves a lot of butt-shaking though. Haha.

And today, Rach, Zhengning, Soffia and I kinda went back to hwachong for a 13slc meeting. You know i had this premonition that someone was gonna be there. And he was (surprise surprise!). And I can't believe he left just like that. Ok anyway, other than that, the rest of the meeting went pretty ok and it was actually fun being a senior. Commented quite a bit during the actual meeting and afterthat we had this sharing/one-to-one talk thingum. And I like the Concept team, even though they mighn't be the most capable. I dunno why, they just give me positive vibes and plus they're really quite humble, I think. But Qihan says it's just the senior-junior thing. And you know I doubt that they know I'm the same age as most of them, but hah I'd rather it stay that way. :P And oh but I tripped like reallly clumsily right in front of one of them. >< wow, like Go Jingyi!

And I can't wait to see which RG people get to go for slc. ;D

Oh and I think the hwachong guys look normal in their long pants and stuff (maybe 'cept for a certain few hoho). I didn't even find it weird. Like how I'm getting used to my batch wearing the prefect uniforms. But strangely, I don't feel like a sec 3 or even a senior.

Yeah oh and I was so happy yesterday cuz I went out with the Wonders! About time! Haha it was so fun and I really miss them, and we talked about our sec 1 days, like how I was annoyingly snappish and Roy was so scared of her NCC seniors and how Zaf and Munya once reached school at 8 cuz each thought she had to wait for the other one, and how Aida once cried in class (and like me too I think haha). I think I was a happy little sec 1 and I was happier in sec 1, ok wait I'm not sure about that.

And Nicole and Tzeqing? Cheer up ok. (: I'm sure you guys'll meet nice people whom you can connect with in your class. Don't give up!
Elaine, jiayou for Orientation! You might be tired but hang in there! In the end, it'll all be worth it. (Ok oh no I'm like spewing out cliches nowadays)

Ok whatever, maybe I was partly at fault but still, at least I'm not a coward. Unlike YOU.

2007-01-03T21:41:00.000+08:00

One thing I sometimes really really lack, among many other things, is confidence or maybe self-confidence. I don't know I think it's a psychological thing because sometimes I get sudden panic attacks and become so, so afraid and unsure. And then my mind would just blank out and I'll either babble or become extremely hesitant.

And oh you know I'm really scared of decimal points (I dunno why... I've always preferred fractions to decimal points since way back in primary school) and confusing tables. Those minute-by-minute table thingums give me a big headache, And I'm really afraid of the dark as well and I absolutely can't sleep without having at least a bit of light. :/

Haha anyway Orientation was pretty stressful today, for me that is. Haha yay I'm glad it went well anyway. Hopefully it will continue to run well! And thanks for being so enthusiastic, everyone! And thanks for all the assurance, I felt very much assured. (: And oh I think I'm a really lousy IC. Cuz like I don't seem to know how to delegate work properly. I'm like this donkeyhead. Ahhh will try harder next time.

And oh I've decided to reply tags starting from the first day of 2007.

It's not about who you are, but about who you want to be. (:

2006-12-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

Ok so 2007's coming in about an hour and I'm beginning to feel a little apprehensive about it, aside from you know all the excitement about starting a new year.

Y'know 2006 has been, and still is btw, a great year. I've been blessed with so many things, starting from PIT-ship, Buddy, to the Nongs, to an all-roundedly great (albeit not perfect but nothing's perfect) sec 2 class, nice teachers whom I hardly get any trouble from (that includes ahHA I guess), the opportunity to be part of the 12SLC OT, the chance to take part in Where I Belong, and most importantly, the chance to renew my relationship with God. Even though it really sounds like an overused cliche, 2006 was the year I changed a lot, for the better I think, and it was the year so many things really started to matter to me. For one, there's friendship - if you'd known me from my primary school days, or my sec 1 days even, friends were the ones whom I merely hung around to have fun with; I don't think I was there for them much. And I sure didn't turn to them when I had problems. I don't know, somehow lending a shoulder for each other to cry on wasn't exactly what I remember of my friendships in those days . I don't know if I've been a better friend the past 12 months, but at least I know I've tried and I've cared and I've loved and I've been loved. Yeah that's enough, that's enough for me. (:

And you know like every other year, this year hasn't been perfect, but still I love this year anyway cuz I've been given loadsa second chances even though I've done so many wrongs and made so many mistakes. I've disappointed others, and I've disappointed myself and I've said and done stupid things which I definitely regret and I have often wished for a chance to go back and change things. But we all know that's not possible so being the silly little girl I am, I'm looking to change things in 2007 instead! Yeah and I think that's so much more realistic than harping on the past, why not look to the future and kinda just dream about it a little? -grin-

Yeah hold on I've got this really great poem from Grace Zhang which I think I should share with you guys out there. (:
Start Over by Anonymous

When you've trusted Jesus and walked His way,
When you felt His hand lead you day by day
But your steps now take you noather way,
START OVER

When you've made your plans and they've gone awry
When you've tried your best til there's no more try
When you've failed yourself and you just dont know why
START OVER

When you've told your friends what you plan to do
When you've trusted them but they didn't come through
Now you're all alone and it's up to you
START OVER

When you've failed your kids and they're grown and gone
When you've done your best but it turned out wrong
And now your grandchildren have come along
START OVER

When you've prayed to God so you'll know His will
When you've prayed and prayed but you dont know still
When you want to stop cause you've had your fill
START OVER

When you think you're finished and want to quit
When you've bottomed out in life's deepest pit
When you've tried and tried to get out of it
START OVER

When the year's been long and successes few
When December comes and you're feeling blue
God gives us a January so you can
START OVER

Starting over means victories won
Starting over means a race well run
Starting over means the Lord's "Well Done"
So hey, don't just sit over there,
START OVER.

So anyway, for 2007 I've got a few (maybe more than just a few hehe) resolutions 'bout the person I wanna be!

1. Be a better person. Ok it sounds really stupid I know but I think I cannn be a better person (we all can actually, it's just a matter of trying). I know I should be happy with the way things are right now and not bother trying to change anything or whatever, but I am really not very satisfied with the way I've acted sometimes and I think I can do better and be an all-roundedly better person. Ok my "better" means firstly, to be more Godly so I can be more of a living testimony to the non-christians around me and also to stop judging people (I think I'm improving on that! ;D) and to learn to love unconditionally, i.e. stop caring about whether my love is reciprocated, and also to be more forgiving (I need to stop bearing grudges) and more patient (I need to stop being so easily angered/annoyed) and more truthful (because I really need to stop lying to my parents). And I wanna make a difference, a positive one in the people or the things that I affect. And oh, one very important thing, I have to stop being such an overemotional, oversensitive and paranoid overreacting drama queen! "To make a mountain of your life is just a choice" - Nada Surf. Darn right it is! So yeah I really need to be a better person. And I'm thinking it might juuust work out. Right? Right huh. XD

2. Become Mummy/Daddy's little girl again. Yeah for those who know me well, it doesn't come as a big surprise that my parents and I share a love-hate relationship. Heh it's actually worse than what it sounds like. Haha enough said... I just want to be able to treat them like friends and be able to talk to them about anything I want. Yeah sure it's gonna be hard (but so is everything else in the world), so I'm gonna try and take it one step at a time. One. Step. At. A. Time. And y'know what I think things are improving already.

3. The unavoidable grades thing. Yeah, like what a thousand million other people have already said, I really want to become a mugger again. Wait, scratch that, I really neeeeeed to become a mugger. Triple Humanities... HELLO? (aaaaand Bio) Yeah. See I mean yeah I know if I were a genius I needn't mug. But the problem is, I'm not a genius and I gotta face that so yeah I have to start studying like the good little primary school kid I was - oh wait I don't think I even bothered to study in primary school, ok whatever, I'll have to start studying like whoever-it-is-that-studies-a-lot, like my sec 1 self maybe. Yeah I think I used to study a lot in sec 1. Ok enough of the ramblind, I'll officially start studying TWICE as much as I used to in sec 1 and like TEN TIMES as much as I did this year. Yeah that actually sounds good. (: And I think it'll sound even better if I get a decent GPA next year, hoho. Yeah a decent GPA kills two birds with one stone actually, cuz it'll help to achieve the improve-relationship-with-parents thing, as a matter of fact, it'll help A LOT.

4. Spend less, save more. You know even though my allowance is low, it isn't really that low but somehow I just don't seem to end up with a lot of money and I think I know why. Yeah so basically, all I have to do is start saving. I know maybe I'll save like 50 bucks every month or something haha. Maybe with more practice, I can even reach a hundred bucks a month! Wooo that sounds great haha. But eventually, I'll have to spend the money I save so I dunno haha. Ok it sounds so easy but I forgot one thing, I loveeee spending money. Ok maybe I'll use a little more self-control this time.

5. Be a better leader i.e. prefect. Yeah actually I think leadership isn't just about prefectship but I don't really know how to put it. I don't know I guess in this aspect, I'll really have to stop procrastinating, get people to take me more seriously, be more of a role model (even though I really can't see myself as one) and try as hard as I can to give my all in the things that I have to do. And I really really have to get myself a bit more organized. I think to begin with, I'll really file all my worksheets next year and have cute little to-do lists pinned all over a cute little notebook that I'm going to get myself. Oh yeah, and the discipline part. Yeah it's gonna be hard but I'll have to be braver and more observant I guess. And oh I need to stop being so blur. Really really really. I can't afford to be anymore blurrer 'else I might be put on probation or something (eeeks). Yeah ok, BE SHARP. I'll be smarter. Much smarter and sharper.

6. Keep the faith in God. Ok see, in all the excitement of writing down my new year resolutions, I nearly forgot about Him. But you see again, everything starts from Him because He gave me everything and without Him, I wouldn't be what I am right now and I wouldn't have anything to base my resolutions on. So anyway, there were several times this year when I had lapses in my faith in Him and obviously these were the darker times I had and yeah so I recognize this bad habit of mine. That I tend to lose faith in God when things don't go well and that I stop praying for some time when things go really badly. And I think that's an absolutely wrong attitude towards Him. Yeah and you know there's this verse my friend shared with me, Job 2:10 - "shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept diversity?" Yeah I think it's really true. So I'm not gonna just accept good from Him but also all the bad bad stuff. I mean, for all we know, it might really be a test of faith or you know a lesson for us to learn. Yeah whatever it is, I gotta keep the faith in God. (:

Haha ok I just got off the phone with Nicole. We were counting down over the phone yay! But I think we were like 10 seconds later than everyone else in the world hoho NEVERMIND!

Yay I like talking to Nicole on the phone it's super amusing and ohmyword she made me get myself embarrassed in front of her brother AGAIN! Ok nevermind my hand's super tired now (you try holding the phone for 45 minutes and you tell me!) so byebye for now! Byebye 2006, Hello 2007! :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I LOVE YOU ALL! (:

Oh and just for the record, I'm in THREE FIFTEEN next year!
Yay my Buddy/ Grace Zhang's class! I hope I get along with them hoho. Hahah ok night everyone!

2006-12-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

Thank you(:

Thank you for the really sweet things you guys've done for me, for all the concern and the worrying. I was really.. touched and I am much much better now and I'm not even upset or like angry anymore. In fact, I feel loved. And you know even if I were to continue liking him, you guys would still have meant a lot more to me than he ever would.

Haha big big hugs to all of you. (:

"It's like seeing the man of your dreams and meeting his beautiful wife... isn't it ironic... a little ironic don't you think"

2006-12-28T16:34:00.000+08:00

We talked. Or maybe it was a monologue.

You know what, they were right.

It's not worth it, maybe never was. I wish everything never happened, but that's impossible. So I'm gonna try alright. Forget about it, forget about everything else. Get rid of everything.

I should have walked away, I should have given up earlier. I just had to continue embracing my stupid and foolish ideals, hadn't I? Apparently, I've been really disillusioned all this while. Optimism kills, really.

It's painful and it's not going to be easy, but at least I've got the people around me (thank you) and I've got God.

MONO no longer exists. And I swear there's going to be a day when I look at you, and my heart no longer gives a leap and my hands no longer feel clammy. No man, you are out out out.

2006-12-26T17:23:00.000+08:00

Ouch. Still ouch.

Once a NONG, always a NONG. <333

2006-12-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

I just listened to Tq's podcast.

Thank you dear! (: It was really really really sweet and it brought so many smiles to my face.

I love you too ok. And Nicole Chan and Elaine Lau. I haven't actually said it out loud before or made such a blatant confession. But I love you guys, y'all were the ones who always made my day and whom I really couldn't do without. And like what Tq said, there really weren't any pretenses needed in front of y'all. I mean as Elaine've said, in some ways I'm really like Brooke... I may seem shallow but once you get to know me, you'll know that I have a heart too. And yeah you guys were the ones who first got to my heart last year.

And yeah anyway I just listened to Tq's podcast and it reminded me that the Nongs won't be in my class anymore next year and suddenly... I don't feel like starting school in 2007 anymore.

I'm going to miss you guys TERRIBLY. ):

It's a joyful Christmas!

2006-12-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas once again! (:

That aside, Happy Birthday Jesus! HAHA.

You know what, I felt something really special about this Christmas, which was why I felt so disappointed on Saturday when you know nothing special happened (which was a totally wrong attitude btw, because I realise even before Christmas, even without the so-called "special things", I do have that much to thank God for). But yeah anyway it turns out that God had a surprise in store for me, cuz he gave me so much more than I asked for. (:

I wanted a pair of shoes, I got two!

I wanted lots of chocolate, I got lots and lots and lots of chocolate.

And most importantly, remember the last post? Yeah "this Christmas I wish for love".
I got my wish. (:

There was something I've been praying about for a while now and today it finally happened. I won't go into too much detail about it but yeah I am glad.

And all the things I've been doing that I've been having so much doubt about? It's by His grace that all these doubts are cleared. Yeah I feel really really really blessed right now.

I feel so loved I really wanna pass on the love to you guys too. (:

This song is for everyone out there. Ok grarh I can't find the song, but anyway take a look at the lyrics (:

christmas...
isn't christmas...
till it happens...
in your heart...
somewhere... deep inside you...
is where christmas really starts...

so, give your... heart to Jesus...
you'll discover when you do...
that it's christmas... really christmas... for you!

No matter what kind of Christmas you guys've had, I wish y'all a great year ahead! (:

Love,
Jingyi.

P.S. Pizza Walker has really yummy pizzas, go try! Haha.

Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart

2006-12-24T13:30:00.000+08:00

Yay it's Christmas! (:

Awww man you know I was all hyped up about some stuff, which totally didn't happen. Disappointments, disappointments.

And you know how you always do something stupid in a moment of over-excitement and then you regret it later on? Bah.

I don't know, I don't know. Christmas is a bad time to get emo. And emo is stupid. And ahh whatever, Channel 5's showing LOVE ACTUALLY at 10pm tonight so tune in kay? Because it's really the bestest show ever.

And there's Elf at 6.30pm.

Haha get ready with your microwaved popcorn and fluffy pillows, dearies. :D

Yeah and this Christmas, I wish for love.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

My scarf's 20cm long now. Go me. (:

2006-12-17T23:15:00.000+08:00

Woke up with quite a bad stomache today, so couldn't go for Pre-reportingday trng. Oh darn that means I'll have to go see Mrs Anis/Ms Ong tomorrow. And pass Soffia the buckle shirt (oh no I'm so sorry!). But I'm all alright now!

Oh and I can't go for church camp. Yeah, but it's ok, actually it's not ok but I shouldn't complain anymore la huh. And yeah Mummy has her reasons, and probably God has His reasons too. I think Mummy needs me.

Anyhow, I was super happy last night. Totally! (: I believe God will work wonders and I can't wait to see it happen on Saturday.

Aaanyway, here's a proper update haha. Friday was Pre-O training and I think I kind of messed things up a bit but I'm glad the audience had fun (I think they looked like they did haha) and I'm even gladder (haha no there ain't such a word) the icebreakers proved easy to understand so I don't think the class i/cs will have much of a problem teaching it to the secones. Yay! :D

And then afterthat, went out with Lynnie and Elaine and kinda window-shopped a little haha. And the Mango sale's quite disappointing actually (but got a little something from there after I went back after meeting my mum), but Orchard Rd's really really pretty at night. I think this year's christmas decorations are a lot better than last year's (like Tangs' neon light thingum and Centrepoint! And basically everywhere else along Orchard). And yay I got my pretty ballet flats haha. I think I'm gonna get a lot more flats too (they're so pretty :D) and oh babydoll dresses!

Oh yeah did you know I met Ge! She was working at the mango shop next to DFS Galleria where they're (or were) having this huge sale. Go visit her if you can! Haha. This is so cool, and from what I heard, Vivian/shuting/huimin are working at Thai Express at Vivocity or something.

And hello Nicole YOU'RE BACK! :D And Hello everybody else! I'm sorry I just don't really feel like replying tags haha, partly because I dunno where to start. But anyway, look out for my Christmas letters! I bet that'll make up for everything. (:

And I think for this Christmas, I'm going to make things personal, get personallized gifts for everyone, that is. (: I don't know, somehow this year's christmas shopping got a lot harder (and also partly because I haven't got time, and also partly because I really don't know what to get) and besides I think gifts which you put a lot of thought and effort in are the ones that really really matter.

And look Lyn, I'm taking the bimbo test! Haha, I bet I'll fail. :D

The Bimbo Test.
[x] My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted.
[x] During the summer pretty much the only shoes I wear are flip flops.
[x] My favorite toy as a child were barbies.
[ ] My favorite color is purple (eww no.. haha I'm all for pink)
[ ] I did Gymnastics
[ ] I love skirts. (No not really haha)
[ ] Hollister is my favorite place to shop (yes if only there were a Hollister in Singapore!)
[ ] Tight jeans are the only jeans I'll wear
[x] I love chocolate
[x] I've never had a real job
TOTAL: 5/10

[ ] My hair is straightened
[x] I have at least 8 friendster pictures.
[x] I usually go shopping once a week.
[x] I love to hang out with friends.
[x] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace.
[ ] I've gone to a tanning salon.
[ ] I've gone to the beach to tan.
[ ] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes. (I wish! hah)
[x] I've watched either the OC or Laguna Beach. (One tree hill still pwns though!)
[ ] I change my icon weekly.
TOTAL: 5/10

[x] I wear a shower cap. (when I have to)
[ ] I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic.
[ ] My cell phone might as well become a part of me. (don't think so, I survived a week without cell phone usage. Mehhh XD)
[ ] I wear mascara everyday.
[x] I've been or am on a diet. (it's a permanent thing haha)
[ ] Bathing suits are adorable.
[ ] I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] Big sunglasses are hot. (Totally!)
[ ] I have gotten my nails done.
[ ] I own over 10 purses.
TOTAL: 3/10

[ ] MTV is one of my favorite channels
[ ] All I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
[x] I love to have other girls do my hair
[x] I give and receive hugs from all my friends
[x] I hate bugs, snakes, lizards, spiders
[x] Carnivals are so fun!!
[x] Summer is THE best season (it so is!)
[ ] My swimsuit has 2 pieces
[x] I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor (yeah I guess)
[x] Pianists are so hot. (yeahh!)
TOTAL: 7/10

[x]You write me a poem and tell me I'm beautiful and I'm all yours (you don't even need the poem, just tell me I'm beautiful xP)
[x] I am self-conscious
[x] I cry often (yeah you wouldn't know)
[ ] My car smells like vanilla (if I had a car, it would!)
[x] My dishes get washed more than once a week
[ ] I don't do sports
[ ] I HATE to run
[x] I squeal when I am surprised or angry
[x] I eat dried fruit as a snack
[x] I love romance novels
TOTAL: 7/10

[x] Drew Barrymore is so cute (yeah I think she is!)
[ ] I dance a lot
[ ] I usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house (nope! haha 15min will do)
[ ] I only have like 5 billion hair products
[x] I love to get dressed up (who doesn't!)
[x] Every part of my outfit needs to match (haha of course)
[ ] I talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends (haha I don't like phones)
[x] I would love to have a photo shoot of myself
[ ] Price on clothes hardly matters (yeah if only it were true)
[ ] I apply lip gloss 50 times a day.
TOTAL: 4/10

[x] I wish I were a model
[ ] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton to slap her (ok I don't really think it's entirely her fault she's the way she is right now... think parental influence)
[ ] I have been something that was slutty on halloween
[ ] I own Uggs
[ ] Hip Hop is the best music (no way! Haha I like country/rock/jazz)
[ ] I pop my collar
[x] I like to be the centre of attention (again, who doesn't? :D)
[x] Guys with Mohawks are crazy
[x] Horses are beautiful (so are ponies!)
[x] I'd rather not pay attention in school (and still score well? yeah man)
TOTAL: 5/10

[x] Cats are adorable.
[ ] I write my own music/song/lyric
[x] I would love to visit Hawaii
[x] Valentine's day! I like! (:
[x] White is better then black (in my humble opinion)
[x] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black (definitely)
[ ] My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes (I wish!)
[x] I hate the grunge look of a beard
[x] I love to read gossip magazines (haha yeah I love all magazines, as long as they are full of pictures and printed on glossy paper :D)
[x] I love to gossip. (even though I try not to!)
TOTAL: 8/10

[ ] I had Lisa Frank folders, posters as a kid
[x] I love Celine Dion
[ ] My bubble baths are 2 hrs long
[x] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned (haha I've even got what I'm going to name my kids-to-be! xD)
[ ] My friends and I are in a strict group. We mostly only hang out with each other
[x] I like kids (yesss! I think my maternal instincts are awakening :/)
[ ] Diet drinks are the best. (ewww diet coke tastes like cough syrup)
[ ] I'm all about being vegetarian (Haha I might try that one day, but nah I can't stand a day without meat)
[x] I refuse to eat at McDonald's. (only if I absolutely had to! yeah let me tell you the horrors of mcdonald's)
[ ] I check my friendster everyday.
TOTAL: 4/10

[x] I LOVE life! (haha yeah I do)
[ ] I have a lot of jewellery!
[ ] Claire's has cheap jewellery
[ ] My screen names have x's in them
[x] Either one of my friendster profile has/had hearts
[ ] I would never want to be the opposite sex (sometimes I think about being a guy)
[x] It's not what he/she said, it's the way he/she said it
[x] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed (Bobby the new big fat bolster!)
[x] I have a stuffed toy sleeping beside me (Toby the tortoise! and Tiffany the star :D)
[x] I love tidy and clean places (haha but I'm not a neat freak, you should see my pigsty of a room!)
TOTAL: 6/10
GRAND TOTAL: 54/100
Haha ehh I think it's so stereotypical. Whatever :P

Everlasting; your light will shine when all else fade

2006-12-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

You know just yesterday I was feeling really stressed (by all sorts of things I tell you) and was attempting to take deeeep, calming breaths? Well deeep calming breaths don't work, because only prayers do. (:

Yeah I'm not scared of 2007 anymore, even though everything's turning out to be pretty taxing and quite scary in a monster-like way (Yeah I was so imagining all my commitments as this huge blob of slime chasing after me with its huge jaws dripping with slime). Because haha I've got God! <3

Yay you know what, I'm not close to my cellgroup members. I can barely hold a conversation with most of them without having awkward silences, without having to rack my brains trying to come up with something to say, and most of the time they aren't the ones I turn to when I've got problems. But heck that, heck all of that, I still love my cellgroup anyway. Muchly. Hawww. Thanks y'all, I was really touched.

Oh Mummy just turned me down. Again. :'( She doesn't understand, and I dunno how to explain. PrayUntilSomethingHappens aye? There's one more day, will not stop pushing.

"I can do it I can do it" - and that's gonna be my daily mantra for now

2006-12-14T19:23:00.000+08:00

I AM CRYING IN FRUSTRATION.

Why is knitting so difficult! I mean I already knew that I have a very bad hand-eye coordination (practically zero, really) but I didn't know I would take two hours to just learn how to cast the yarn on. You know this is another of my very flighty and silly ventures but I will not let it fail.
But oh boy is this a bad idea or what.

Still, hey, on the bright side, I've at least gotten started! I mean, knitting is easy... or at least that's what everyone says, right?

On a sidenote, hanging out at plaza sing with lyn, shimin and xiner was really fun. Haha. And thanks lynnie, I swear I will not let your coaching efforts go to waste as well.

And on the even brighter side, Christmas is juhhhst round the corner. Woooo! :D

The trick is to keep breathing

2006-12-13T15:31:00.000+08:00

Ok hoho guess what I'm feeling really happy now! (:

And that's the only thing that matters haha.

LOVIES!

A quick one

2006-12-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, my senior AJ had an accident involving a suitcase falling on her head. Thank God she's recovering, but still do keep her in your prayers. (:

Oh, and I love Pastor Daniel yeah I do. He's so passionate and faithful and everything he's quite an inspiration, and awe-inspiring at that! Haha his sermons never fail to bring across the message and at the same time, keep us all entertained. Yeah I think he's great. (:

Anyhow, it's quite sad that things always crop up on Saturdays and whenever I go to church, I'm at my most tired moments and I never really open up, which is why I don't think my cellgroup knows me very well, even after nearly a year. Oh well, I must must pray about that.

Ehh and how come boy schools' rules are so much more lax than ours. Like RI and Hwachong both allow ankle socks and the usage of handphones anywhere, anytime (so long as lessons aren't disturbed of course). And Hwachong's even allows shoes of any colour and best of all, you get to eat finger food anywhere! Yeah it's finger food but still... I bet if Rg were to have that rule, they won't have pupils that are perpetually hungry (I'll bet Elaine would have a lot to say about that, and ME too!) Talk about unfairness! >:(

Anyway, these are for Eveline:

Lyrics
One of the songs that really touches hearts.

Lyrics
This is the one I was talking about. (: Yeah, it really got to me.

Lyrics
This is slightly emo, but otherwise it's a great song about repenting and all. And I don't know about you, but for me, it's one of those personal songs.

Lyrics
This is supposedly Relient K's hit song or something. Not very sure about that but all the same, it's another great song!

Hah yeah I'm all for Christian rock. X)

And lookie, it's only 16 days to Christmas! Yeah babyyy. :D

And maybe I should reply tags huh. ;D Sorry! Thanks for tagging though (:

Cuz I'm just that bored

2006-12-06T14:27:00.000+08:00

I've been doing some bloghopping and stuff and I just realised something. Nearly everyone I know are somehow interconnected. Freaky o.0

Anyway, haha quizzes/blogthings.com can be very amusing! :D

See this around on a couple of blogs so I tried it too! XD

No Comment. XD

You Are a Boston Terrier Puppy

Aggressive, wild, and rambunctious.
Deep down, you're just a cuddle monster.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Ewww... ugly!

You Are New York

Cosmopolitan and sophisticated, you enjoy the newest in food, art, and culture.
You also appreciate a good amount of grit - and very little shocks you.
You're competitive, driven, and very likely to succeed.

Famous people from New York: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tupac Shakur, Woody Allen

What American City Are You?

I wanna go there one day. (:

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have many true loves.

Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships.

You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover. You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Nah-uh... not true. X)

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.
You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships.

The purpose of your life: showing love to other people

Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah

Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

What Color Is Your Aura?

But I like pink!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as strong willed and stubborn.

Overall, your true self is creative and expressive.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Ahah, quite true.

You've Changed 52% in 10 Years

You've done a good job changing with the times, but deep down, you're still the same person.
You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but it hasn't changed you.

How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?

Hoho ten years ago, I was 4. ;D

Your Life Path Number is 9

Your purpose in life is to make the world better

You are very socially conscious and a total idealist.
You think there are many things wrong with the world, and you want to fix them.
You have a big idea of how to world could be, and you'll sacrifice almost anything to work towards this dream.

In love, you can easily see the beauty in someone else. And you never cling too tightly.

You are capable of great love, but it's hard for you to focus your love on one person or relationship.
You have a lot of outward focus, and you tend to blame the world for your failures.
You are often disappointed by the realities of life - it's hard for you to accept the shortcomings of the world.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Yeah, the last few sentences pretty much describe how I am when I'm feeling jaded.

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous

What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand

In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection

In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support

Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure

Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood

You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What Sign Should You Be?

Yeah! Pretty much accurate. Oh, I'm a Libra btw, though I don't really believe in horoscopes. (But ewww... ideal job: marine biologist? eurgh)

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.
On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.
You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.
Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

Hahaha nooo I'm not a hedonist and I would never want to be one!

Your Birthdate: September 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.
A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.
You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you.
You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.

Your strength: Your devotion

Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness

Your power color: Lilac

Your power symbol: Heart

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Yeah really really true. haha.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Noo, I do think happy marriages exist! It's just that, right in front of me, they don't.

You Are From Venus

You love all forms of beauty. You love dressing up and anything luxurious.
A social butterfly, you're incredibly popular and a great host.
You're known for your fairness and affection. And as a frind to all.
Careful though! You're desire to please may make you too willing to conform.
Be yourself. Focus on what matters to you. You'll be all the more popular for it.

What Planet Are You From?

Yeah.. maybe, maybe not. XD

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack,
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"

Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos.
But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Yep. (:

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Hah, I'm getting bored of this. Ok, one last one.

You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree

Christmas is all about showcasing your creative talents.
From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

Yeah the catch is that my creations are most of the time, not unique haha. :P

Ok you know what, maybe I'll go read a book. Have been reading some Very Good Books (hhoho, reminds me of the nerds from Masquerade) like A clergyman's daughter by George Orwell(which is really interesting, go borrow it!) and the usual good old Agatha Christie mystery (The ABC murders, which is really creepy). I'm starting on Things Not Seen by Andrew Clements now. Looks interesting! (: And oh, I think I've kind of had enough of chicklit for now but Lyn, if you finally remember to bring the Shopaholic books I asked you to, I'm open anytime! :D

Truly madly deeply

2006-12-06T10:37:00.000+08:00

Yay! Finally a layout I'm really happy with. (And it was made in less than half an hour, haha not bad, considering my lack of artistic talent+lack of photoshop skills).

Haven't blogged in a while due to the sorting out of my thoughts, or at least attempts to sort out my thoughts but in reality, I've been idling away for hours and hours nonstop on silly (but surprisingly really entertaining!) stuff like Pokemon and Neopets and just games. Yeah, even though I still haven't figured out what the root of the problem was, I've at least managed to find some way where I could channel these emotions to elsewhere. Haha, basically, I'm considerably happier and I don't mean to be what you would call "superstitious" but really, it must've been God (:! (Haha I vaguely remember a similar post some weeks back, but ah well, nvm)

Anyway, being forced to not engage in any social activities (or rather, it was self-imposed) has reduced me to a state of near oblivion but last night I rediscovered the joys in im-ing on MSN. So yay, I guess I'm really back this time!

Oh if you haven't already been notified, 91420719 officially died as of last week. So now I've got a new number (which you can easily get if you're 1. my msn contact or 2. a prefect). Otherwise, you can always approach me and ask. Haha yay I love my new handphone even though it's neither pink (It's a pretty and pure white) nor the latest model (Its features are great enough!).

I think I'll have to really stop wasting the holidays because all I've been doing these few days is to eat/sleep/watch tv/play. No kidding, I sound like a pig. I really do, except for the "watch tv" part that is. And if I don't start doing anything even remotely intellectual, my brainjuice is going to slowly seep though my skull, I can just feel it already! But I've got seriously nuuuuuthing to do. Unless you count Orientation and Mpp stuff, which I'll be starting on soon. Soon.

Maybe I'll start on the many many christmas letters I'm going to write and am going to send to the many many people I love (I don't know how, but I don't care... somehow I'll figure out a way to coerce people into giving me their addresses XD). And if, (if, I say), if you really don't get a letter from me, it must've been probably cuz A. you've just moved/you live on Planet Mars or B. I'm a lazy pig who procrastinates and ends up with very little time on my hands but I still love you anyway! Hoho yay I'm really looking forward to Christmas and I'm glad it's so near now, it's practically just 'round the corner! (On another much much sadder note, it also means the holidays are coming to a close and school's starting soon!) Yeah, if I haven't mentioned this to you before, I love Christmas! :D

And WOWZIES! Channel 5 is actually going to show Love Actually! Wheeee. :D Which I've already watched and loved, but still, I can always rewatch it again with my mum (and the millions of other people who will get to watch it too)! Hahaha and oh I really really really want the new Corrine May christmas album! In my very personal and biased opinion, I think Corinne May (and Relient K and Carrie Underwood) albums are the only albums worth buying. And I love Christmas Carols! J'adore les chanteux de Noel! (I've decided to embark on a brave and noble -snickers- endeavour to drastically improve my French within what is left of my holidays) So currently, Jingyi's Christmas List

1. Corrine May's Christmas album
2. The big dollhouse that has real lights and dolls included sold at Toys 'R' Us.
3. Loads and loads of Hershey's/Guylian chocolate.
4. Loads and loads of ice-cream.
5. Hah, pretty ballet flats.

Fairly reasonable, no? I sincerely hope my parents will chance upon my blog and take immediate action.

P.S. I miss you Elaine! And Nicole too. You guys hurry and come back okay! ): And Issy, your trip to the US better be short.

P.P.S. I really want to go out now! Eveline - haha our shopping trip! And when Elaine+Nic come back, I want a full-fledged Nongs Outing/Sleepover, on a day hopefully where Elaine won't have ringbells/tuition/random social events, Nicole won't have CO/random social events, Tq+I won't have pb stuff/random social events or commitments. And all four of us can have a good time rolling about hoho. And I want a day out with the Wonders too! And another day out with the Frenchies (yes think along the lines of Issy/Zaf/Tas). Haha ok, that's about it, for now. Oh and a few more SLC outings would be nice! ;D

Love

2006-12-03T12:45:00.000+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

How true, don't you think? Church really helped yesterday. And as Debbie says, it's easy to love those who are all sweet and "lovable", but the real challenge is when you have to love someone that doesn't reciprocate, someone that somehow doesn't come across as a person worth loving, but you go ahead and love him/her anyway. That's true love, and I think that's love in the spirit of Christ. Because, how many times have we failed him and have we snubbed His love with either our actions or simply our unwilling attitudes, yet He never gave up and His love for us is so sacrificial and unconditional. Even when we, with all our flaws, never did deserve His love in the first place.

Somehow when you think about that, your own supposedly noble acts of love just pale in comparison. And so, I musn't be complacent, especially since sometimes I'm so easily distracted and it's so easy to just forget things like that.

2006-11-28T19:47:00.000+08:00

Hah this week's been eventful, fun, quite reflective and extremely exhaustive.

Thank you for the tags, everyone. I really appreciated the fact that there're people who care when I'm upset, but I'm all alright now and I'm sorry if I got any of you worried. (:

I realised it's pretty easy to get me down, but really easy to brighten up my day as well. So yeah I guess my emotions are constantly on a rollercoaster ride but I think I'm starting to get a hand on them because my actions don't get affected by how I feel half so easily now. I personally feel that's a pretty big mark on my growth chart. And I'm glad I'm maturing, even though I know I can still be really insecure and immature and lacking in self-confidence but I do know I have a long way to go anyway.

But more importantly, I realised you shouldn't let others' opinions affect what you strongly believe in. And of course, I've gained a whole new perspective to friendship and faith (two issues that are currently not even remotely connected in my life but got me seriously thinking, which mighn't necessarily be a good thing but yeah it did help me understand better).

But sometimes you just feel like you don't know yourself anymore. And when your instincts perk up, you don't even know if you're being oversensitive, if you're just having inane thoughts, being unnecessarily paranoid; you're just dubious about the validity of your own emotions and you try to suppress them. But in the end, you are still not sure if you're doing the right thing. And so I realised, it's easy to stop yourself from judging others but stopping yourself from doing judging yourself - that's the hard part.

Sorry for being so vague and incoherent haha, anyway, I still have like a gazillion photos, which I'm gonna post right now.

IF
LOVE Buddies 2006 (:

Buddy & Me!

And it was the mad playing of bridge/daidee (:

And MAHJONG hahaha. No joke, they played mahjong through the night.

FAM 2006
I think, even though she had this reluctant look, tq's secretly pleased that I'm hugging her. HA. HA. XP

Yay Fila! (: (and yeah I was eating Meiji chocolate haha)

Big Buddy looked super chio. -nod nod- YES YES.

This is for Nicole (and maybe Simei, if she even visits my blog). Haha Siyun!

This is for Sammmm! Hahaha Cat and Suet, your favourite people all dressed up and looking darn good. :D You must be swooning by now.

The super cool Elvis & The Gogos (or something like that)

Shuting!

HR! Human Resource. (:

HR! PB Human Resource 2006 (minus Zhihui and Weishan)

Buddy ONE. Buddy TWO. Hoho.

Ge (Elvis!) looking pretty and different in her dress.

Eunice and me. Shepherds 2gether, 4ever!

~~Low~~ High Zhener! (Who's one of the organizers)

Yay Zhiying and Wanjoo!

Shuai Hilary looking really feminine (and pretty) in a dress! hoho.

Vivian! (Thank you for all your encouragement and for remembering my birthday!)

Buddies 2006! Buddy - Big Buddy - Small Buddy.

Haha I always end up photo-whoring with Xiner at hotels. Dunno why. (Still remember the ORA Dinner ones XD)

Koh Lina! Potassium+Oxygen+Hydrogen+Lithium+Sodium :D

Vandy B!

Zhengning and Sherrie the emcees for the day.(:

Sophia! Still remember her as our term 2 sl i/c 2005. haha.

Grace Foo! XD

GB Batch 06, all of them looking downright gorgoeus. Click to enlarge!

And so this concludes FAM 2006. Yay kudos to Vivien, Frankie, Zhener, Charlene and everyone else (even though I don't know your names I'm so sorry).

CANTATA!
Yayyyy my cute little sheep and me. (Psst.. I have secret paedophillic tendencies, as I have said earlier) If you haven't figured it out already, he's Zhener's brother haha.

Yay and thanks for coming, you guys. (:

Buddy!

Amazing Grace (Zhang)!

Nicole, Elaine, me + Nicole's dear little object of swooning. Yeah Eunice I kid you not, I think Nicole had a soft spot for YOUR COUSIN! Can you believe it? I bet you can't, haha.

Oh and I realised I didn't take a proper photo with my fellow shepherd Eunice!! And because I never got down to writing you a proper letter I just wanna say here that I was really happy when I knew both of us were going to work together and it was great playing shepherds with you. Haha dear eunice, you are really really cute (even if you don't seem to think so) and super super nice. Thank you for being caring, thoughtful and a source of motivation and encouragement and for being such great company during Cantata. And I knew I was good only because you were my partner. (: And I may be considered as one of your ~~non~~-existent friends, okay? And like what you wrote to me for my birthday, I may not always be there for you, but know that you are in fact, much loved.

Oh btw, Eden, I'm sorry I didn't take any photos of the bimbos (they looked really scandalous though) but I guess you'd be happy enough laughing at me looking really stupid in my shepherd costume hoho.

PIT Camp 2006

PIT Camp was great and the highlights were Masquerade and Nightwalk I guess. Haha Masquerade was hilarious and Nightwalk was kind of fun too. Eunice and I were in charge of the Chinese Opera Room, playing "Ni deng zhe wo hui lai" music and burning incense (which was actually mosquito repelling coil or something) and all. Lol according to Gracezhang, we nearly killed ourselves by closing all the doors and windows and trapping ourselves in with only the incense smoke floating in the air.

Oh well, it was quite a bummer since practically everyone had this silly smile on their faces when they were supposed to be horrified. So we started playing with random people's ponytails and draping toilet paper over them (which prompted quite a few reactions, haha) and randomly banging the table tops (which scared even the guiders XD) and oh tossed rubber bands at them, which made this girl go "Ewww.. disgusting!". Hahaha and before we even started scaring people, being incredibly intelligent, I went and tripped over the raffia string, causing a very disgruntled me to suffer from bruises all over my body. Yeah I know, I'm a walking disaster or to put in Eunice's supposedly-nicer terms: "accident-prone".

Oh and yayyy after pit camp we all received our prefect badges and went to get our new prefect uniforms ('cept for some but I think they're getting theirs soon). Meaning, no more culottes and pinafores from now on. Haha, yeah but with the new uniforms and everything, we've got new, heavier responsibilities as well. I'm looking forward to 2007 anyhow, which I think is gonna be an exciting year.

And oh, Filatheia is the LOVE. So is RGSPB. (:

Photos:
Yeah we look retarded I know. XD

MASQUERADE! :D

Joyce the little girl and Grace Yeo the cool dude

Zhener as the ahbeng dad who was angry cuz his daughter was booked! (Parental intervention hoho)

Joyce who insisted her chocolates were digestive biscuits, Cheryllynnoh who thinks her bubble skirt was very "hip!" and Hannah who refused to take off her earphones. XD

Zhihui and Xintian the nerds who were late for assembly cuz they were trying to "finish reading a very good book!" and Grace Chan and Kimberly and Eileen who were late for assembly cuz Grace Chan's goldfish who "was part of the family" died.

Kimberly and Grace Chan the bimbos + Eileen the paikia at DC! :D

Kellie buddieee!

And Nat sleeping in dc. Hoho.

Claire Goh and Grace Chan the Bimbos out at Orchard XP

And they call out their boyfriends. That's Quek Xiner and Ruiling for you! XP Notice where the hands all end up. Hohoho.

Yeah, and that's that. (: I have some videos too, which I might put up cuz they are so freaking funny. But it's gonna be a while before they're uploaded. And hoh Claire, I just ruined your reputation, didn't I! :P

2006-11-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

I dunno I feel so weird and I can't even describe what I'm feeling.

But mainly a mixture of guilt and nostalgia.

And you know what, I really feel like talking to someone about it but I just can't. I dunno why.
I dunno why sometimes I just keep pretending that I'm so happy when really, I'm not. And sometimes I just keep talking about pointless things when I do have other stuff in mind and I really want to talk about something else actually. See, I'm stupid stupid.

But what's the point of self-deprecation anyway.

ICYL people, I think you guys are doing a great job. Jiayou and I'm sorry. And Tzeqing, hang in there, I think it'll be alright again.

YAY!

2006-11-19T00:31:00.000+08:00

Ahhh Cantata's overrrr! ):

Still, we did a wonderful job, didn't we!

Yayyyy kudos to everyone: the cast, the crew, the directors and the teachers! :D

I'm so tired now but it's the happy and high kind of tired hahaha. Still I need sleep (what with pulling two all-nighters in one week) so I shall go get some real soon!

Hoho thank you everyone for coming to Cantata and I hope (for those of you who haven't) you'll accept God's gift! And I really really hope you people enjoyed yourselves loads! And I hope I was a funny and stupid shepherd hahaha. And BIG BIG THANKS for the pretty flowers (hahh my sunflowers)! My mum placed and arranged it really nicely in a vase. (:

Anyway, this week was so eventful it almost feels like a year, and I promise loads and loads of photos tomorrow okay! And yeah shoutouts! (:

Yay tomorrow I'm going out with mummy to VivoCity (it's about time haha)!

Goodnight everyone! Sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite!

SWEET CANDY CANE DREAMS, people!

zzz

2006-11-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

I'm exhausted. Hwah. The bbq at Weiling's was fun I guess. I spent lots of time playing at the playground, swinging on the swings. And I got to know Rachel much much better that night after talking to her. And we sang songs which kind of sent me into this mildly nostalgic mood but oh nevermind that's another story.

IF was great. Yeah even though there was this food shortage and maybe it was even a little screwed on our part, but I still think Fiel (and Fea and Fila too, for that matter) enjoyed themselves, which is what's really important. And mann I'm sure gonna miss Fiel. Anyway, Tzeqing you didn't miss much (except maybe our item for Fiel and the saying of goodbyes and singing of board songs and hugs); and we played Bridge the whole night. Yep, I've finally learnt how to play Bridge!

Cantata rehearsal was so draining just now. Haha but the sheeps finally came, which really increased the fun factor :D! Eunice's sister Judith is really really cute and so is Zhener's brother. Judith is an extremely affectionate little girl and I think that's adorable. Eunice's cousin though is probably still stuck in that stage where the boys all think they're hotshots and the coolest of the cool, yeah so it can get a bit frustrating sometimes but generally it's really fun and amusing working with kids. It makes you feel like a kid again. And yeah sometimes maybe that's what you would have loved to be (and remain as) had you been given a choice - a kid.

And anyway, I dunno why but little kids just so eagerly and faithfully put their trust in you and look up to you and adore you in that way only little kids do; it can really make your otherwise very dreary day.
---
I'm feeling great pangs of disappointment, because that's all everything amounts to? Yeah I'm amazed.

And sometimes, you never know what an idiot you've been until someone finally enlightens you on an issue you've been completely oblivious to.

2006-11-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of this, I really am. Maybe there's something wrong with me but somehow I just keep ending up feeling more hurt than anyone. Or maybe it's just cuz I so blatantly show what I feel, or at least show that I make an effort and expect more or less the same. You might say it's all just a show but nope it ain't that superficial; I do mean what I say or do.

You know something? I always feel like giving up but I always can't bring myself to do it, because... it doesn't work that way.

And sometimes I say it's ok but really, it's not okay.

I'm human too you know? Which is why I try and I fail and I make mistakes which can be either big blunders or really stupid ones but all I want is forgiveness. It's not much, a second chance, maybe many more chances? I don't know.

Honestly, sometimes I really don't know what I'm holding on to. Sometimes, I can't even feel Him.

Photos from the sleepover! (: [Click to enlarge]

2006-11-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

Yayy we can fly! hoho.

Yay strawberries! (:

We slept in the attic which has nice sloping roofs that look like milk chocolate bars! (:

We snacked on strawberries yumyum!

The coolass desktop background Elaine designed. Onetreehill! (:

Elaine has loads of soft toys I tell you, Yay these are some of the cuter ones! :D Aren't they the sweetest things you've seen? But of course I still love my bolster the most.

My favourite of the lot! :P

2006-11-09T21:47:00.000+08:00

Tag Replies
Shaun - Hello, I'm not bored. Haha
Zaff - HELLO ZAFF! (: haha
Lucas - Haha you're welcome la! :D
Kellie - yay! (:
Elaine - You'll see, come Christmas! (:
Nicole - Sheila/Atiqah/Irmelia... anymore?
Yingjie - I've already made my choice! Anyway I hate chem! And there's nothing wrong with triple humans! :p
Elaine - yeahh! But see, I have this tiny chance of ending up with EVERYONE I know, ok maybe only those that are taking double humans but still.
Rach - Heyhey! Yup I'll link you! You take care too (:
Elaine - Cuz not everyone is a chem pro like you!
Lucas/Nicole - Yo CHANN you're not ugly! And yeah for the last time, you're nawwwt ugly! And you know what, I find the process of staining myself with chemicals really boring. Yeah that's why o.o
Elaine - Nooo you aren't a fat fish! You're a cute heffalump!
Issy - Haha it's okayyy. And, yeah I hope so too! ;D
Delia - Thanks Delia! (: Jiayou for props!
Kellie - Haha no laaa, I was just lazy and I didn't feel like changing. And he lives really near but it's still too far to be seen you know! Oi!
Nicole - Have a good rest and yeah I really hope you get well soon; it's worrying.
Lisa - Haha I miss you too you big baby! :D
---

I'm feeling so full! I just ate 4 of those really yummy cheesy dogs, you know, the soft brown chicken franks with the creamy cheese that oozes out and into your mouth with every bite. I love FOOD. (: Quote me "Food was the best thing that ever happened to Jingyi!". 'Cept that now I have this bloated stomach; the kind that makes you want to burp but somehow the burp just gets stuck somewhere down there and refuses to come out.

Oh well, get well soon anyway Nicole Channn! Yeah, she had a horrible stomach upset after eating too much (what else? XD). Hope it's nothing serious!

We got back our progress reports today and my GPA is baaaaad, as in disastrous like I dunno, maybe not the world-war-kind-of-disastrous, but like you know the flooding-kind-of-disastrous. Yeah it's really that bad I tell you, so don't ever mention it in front of me okayyy (or else I'd get all stupid and whiny like I am right now). Actually it's not really that big a deal, I mean obviously I could have done better if I had started bothering a bit earlier than a few weeks before the eoys so yeah it is my fault. So I shall not complain! Ok, fulstop. But then again, wait till my mum finds out and I can kiss goodbye to ... everything.

That aside, Cantata is getting exciting! :D Been going through all those rehearsals and yeah honestly sometimes it can be quite a bore but generally, it's really fun and funny. I think GB has loads of talented performers and those of you who have bought tickets for Cantata, you won't regret it, I promise! (and hint hint I like sunflowers hint hint :P)

Well, if you haven't bought tickets, hurry you should buy now! NOW NOW NOW!

And Grace zhang is so cute I think her face resembles a squashy pumpkin! (I meant that as a compliment)

Anyway, I love BUDDY! (: Haha somehow every time I decide to while away hours in the Pb room, Kellie appears! And then in the end we would all end up doing really silly stuff like making aluminium stars for Big Buddy's farewell present haha. Yay :D

And we ~~stole~~ were given lunch catered for the ICYL/SLN people. The beehoon was really nice and I ate a lot!

Oh but it can't be compared to the amount I ate at Elaine's house! Ahh NONGS SLEEPOVER! (: Even though Tzeqing couldn't come (we'll have another one some other day which Tzeqing would come, riiight lainey? ;D), we still had tons of fun! (ehh that rhymed). Reached Sunset Way at 5pm cuz of cantata rehearsals and Nic and Lainey were already playing in the pool, so I joined them and we frolicked in the pool like fairies! haha. Ehh and I can't believe I forgot how to swim, I actually did learn swimming, it's just that I haven't swum in ages (meaning, years, I never liked swimming you know!). Ok now I feel so lousy cuz I can't swim, and I can't ride a bike. Yeah I'm serious ):

Oh then we went back in, had a shower and started to eat, and eat (and use the comp) and eat and eat. Yeah and Elaine's mum baked for us! Yay thank you Auntie! Haha her volcano-like chocolate souffles. Yummm.

And we watched movies! I love The Notebook and Kate & Leopold! Yay they rock! Ok I can't decide which one I like better but yeah I love both! And Hugh Jackman is officially the newest cutest guy of the century (right beside James Lafferty of course)! It's quite an old movie I know but still!

The Notebook is such a beautiful movie. Except that they really shouldn't have so many kissing scenes! Sorry for sounding childish but yeah I think the excessive display of intimacy between the two was really really unnecessary. And if it hadn't been NC16, I would have been able to catch it earlier! But it's really sweet and nice, and you should go rent it at videoezy or something. And Rachel McAdams was good; totally different from her Mean Girls character. And I think The Notebook is one of the best romance films I've seen.

Then we slept in Elaine's attic and I'm really sorry Elaine&Nicole for talking so much rubbish and completely disrupting your sleep! Haha ok actually I think it was only Nicole who was trying to sleep and Elaine's like my accomplice or something. Hehheh. I love my Nongs. (:

And oh great, my mum just came home and she's looking through my progress report right now. Oh GREAT. ):

209 photos! (:

2006-11-07T18:23:00.000+08:00

Beatrice/Amelia/Nitya/Jiali/Me/Debbie/Lainey! (:

Tq with her spastic smile & Debbieee! :D

Zhangwei and Nicole! (:

Debbie the cute little dwarf: I wanna grow! I wanna grow! I wanna GROW GROW GROW :D

NONGS! ♥

YAY 209!

Two Nine's the one you can't DEFY
We're coming closer, we're so NEARBY!
Hit the net and shoot the SKY!
Come shout at us and hear our REPLY!
With a V, With a V, with a V-I-C!
With a C, With a C, With a C-T-O!
With an O, with an O, with an O-R-Y!
Victory, victory, that's our CRY!
HWAH!

Oh Niners we had a court!

SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT

And on this court we're hitting the nets

SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT

With a SHOOT SHOOT here and a SHOOT SHOOT there

SHOOT SHOOT everywhere!

Oh Niners we had a court!

Aim shoot we get our score! :D

2006-11-06T18:58:00.000+08:00

Changed my subject combi so now I'm taking triple humanities + Bio.

There'd better be no regrets. (I hope)

But anyway, do you guys know of anyone else out there who's taking trip human.s? Cuz I would sure love to know who my future classmates might be.

And please pray for Thashi <3, that her dad will be back safely and that meanwhile, she wouldn't feel so bad.

2006-11-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what's wrong with blogger but it just ate up my post even though I typed this lonnnng post and tried thrice (yeah thrice, wth) to post it and nope it just wouldn't appear and even though I saved the draft, the whole thing just went missing on me. And my layout codes are all screwed as well,for some strange, unfathomable reason. Hello, my layouts mighn't have been pretty but they have always been reasonably presentable and now look at the hideous scrollbars. >:( Blogger is shit la, some day I'm gonna switch to xanga/lj/anything other than stupid screwy blogger.

Sorry I'm feeling really pissed and grouchy today.

Anyway, what I wrote yesterday was that confirmations had been quite an emotional process for most of Fila and I was really really happy that all of us who went for confirmations got in and that we got through the thing as a complete batch; as one. And I was sure the entire batch would get in . And I was really grateful to Kellie for staying and that she was the best buddy and I love her. And I thanked Grace for the sweet gesture of hers, a wet but still very comforting kiss.

And I had wanted to proclaim my love for Rgspb, for Fiel, for Fea and for Fila and I wanted to say how sad I was the Fiel would be gone and how weird it was to not be able to see them in school anymore.

And I had wanted to say that I love everything about 209 despite our conflicts and our imperfections and I would miss them very much, including the teachers (maybe not all but still). And along with that, I had dedicated messages to my NONGs but since they have been spiralled into the unknown depths of the world wide web (thanks to shitty blogger, no less), I think it's better to give it to them personally. <3 y'all anyhow.

And I had wanted to say that I had changed a lot (and in a positive way too, I think) over the year 2006 and how I really thought the year was ending a tad too fast even though it has been a great year where I had gone through numerous exciting experiences but undeniably, made countless mistakes as well.

And anyway, my point was if I had been given a choice, I would undoubtedly want to go through this year all over again and would have avoided all the errors that were made in the past, but then again, sometimes it is those errors that make life so much more interesting and worth living and enriching.

But anyway, I really don't wanna type anymore cuz I'm using my cousin's laptop and I hate typing on laptops.

And I hope this post doesn't get swallowed by blogger too.

2006-10-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

Blogger has been screwy >:( . But anyway, tag replies:

Elaine: Haha you're right. Sometimes it is good to be sensitive but I'm always sensitive at the wrong times.
Tq: Haha at least you aren't a whiny brat. I'm a whiny brat. Spoilsport+whiny brat = perfect match, no?
Kellie: Oh yeah. ): Sheesh then we won't be able to go out for the whole of this week. Next week? haha.
Elaine: Hahaha Mr Pebble. -.-''''
Issy: Haha I wish (I mean the "did well" part). And yeah I hope he'll go! :/ And wowww ok so I'll get you 14 tickets? XD
Tq: hahaha fine fine fine. Seeya!
Lucas&Elaine&Tq: Haha you guys must laugh at my performance okayy! Even if it's reallly unfunny, you've still gotta laugh I don't care!
Yingjie: Haha moot parliament/parliament thingum... 'tis still the same so whatever la haha.
Elaine: Hahah yesss Nathan!<3 and Dan ):. Grahh. Maybe he's the one who's gonna die in season 3. I hope so! And I love Brooke's dimples! Plus Peyton's character; yeah she's cooool!
---

Dramanight was so embarrassing. I looked soo gross today. I think I'm sick of pink. Like really really sick of pink. Aww man.

I love Elaine! Yay oth-marathoned at her house today and watched 3 episodes straight, it was super fun! :D (Sunset way sunset way) Anyway, and the "scattered brain" at daily scoop was yummy. Shall go there to get some more one day hoho. Thank you Elaine! Oh tq/nic was supposed to come with us but stupid fishballs disrupted everything and nic was sick. Be healthy, Nicole! You keeep falling sick these days! Get well soon yeah. And jiayou for ICYL, twinnietwinnietq!

Anyway did I tell you I'm going for ICYL? Yeah. Haha. Hope to have fun there! (though I know somehow um I'll still be secretly thinking SLC is the best! But I would really try to keep an open mind. XD)

Anyway, y'all have got to come for the Christmas Cantata by 45th GB!
18th November Saturday
2.30pm OR 7pm
KS Chee Theatre @ RGS

Come come! Cuz I'll be acting as a shepherd and speaking in a GRUFF voice. I'm sure you'd want to watch me. (:

Let's all be happy and smile at the world. (:

2006-10-29T17:49:00.000+08:00

rYay went shopping with mummy and bought cute tees and cut my hair! (: It doesn't look very different actually, but I've finally gotten my pretty side fringe and painstakingly-combed side parting! No more fake fringe that looks weird haha and no more shiny fringe-less forehead.

The Lit Seminar yesterday was really eek! I don't know why, but I was sooo annoyed. I loved the Tick performance but one of the shows put up by our fellow secondary schools was just bleurgh. It was so unrehearsed and badly done and unspontaneous that I felt embarrassed for it. :/ The other shows weren't really that great but at least they showed effort and were entertaining!

Church was really good anyway! For the first time in a lonnnng time I went for service and I could really feel His prescence and it made me feel so loved that nothing else mattered in the world and I was in this state of euphoria. For those moments, at least. Cuz when I got home, everything else that shouldn't matter but still do matter came running headlong into me.

Insecurity comes from Fear and Fear comes from believing in lies. So seek security in Jesus and don't live your life according to how others want it to be! (:

Oh well, FILA bbq was really really really funn! :D Haha it wasn't a bbq in the end but I was still such a piggg. There was this large spread of food like marshmallows/pizza/fried rice/sushi!/honeylicious hotdogs and nuggets and sotong balls and fishballs! Thank you RachieeOoNOoNOoN. Haha. I HEART Fila. We went to wade in the baby pool and told silly jokes and played a silly game of murderer and laughed at Jocelyn who laughed in a "Hoo-hoo-hoo" way. Shit. Now I really really really dread Confirmations cuz I don't want anyone to be kicked out (I'm thinking, that might be me too).
---

At this moment there are 6470818671 people in the world, some are running scared, some are coming home, some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just not facing the truth, some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil,

six billion people in the world, six billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one

T.H. White once said: “Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically…to those who hardly think about us in return.” Yeah I'm thinking that's really true.

Anyway, I had a really nice dream last night. Mr Granola Bar asked me if I was ok on msn. It was so vivid; I could see the msn nic and the words "Are you ok?", I even replied I think but I can't remember what, and for the whole of last night I could feel this surge of happiness. And then I woke up feeling completely miserable cuz it was all a dream.

Yeah, face it girl, he would never talk to you. Still, a little dreaming can't do any harm?

:D

2006-10-27T19:57:00.000+08:00

Yay our Christmas Cantata's so exciting! :D

Haha anyway, today was a really long and boring day (aside from the gb session just now); all we did was checking of papers and waiting around for our silly teachers to stop yelling/nagging/yadayada. My grades are kinda ok, like English is quite okay, Chinese is okay (in fact better than expected), Math is like fine even though most people did better than me I bet (because I hardly studied and got Vim to tutor me an hour before the test so now I owe her chocolate haha), History was kinda expected (I had to do well; I mean hello, my teacher's BChew XD), Lit was quite disappointing but I guess it should be considered alright la huh and Chem was just horribly screwed and really disappointing cuz it was one subject I studied my guts out for (My mum wants me to change my subject combi now). But oh Geog! I was super happy when I got it back. My past geog scores have been borderline passes; this was just unexpected. Haha it does kinda prove that hard work pays off. Yeah Geog and Chem and Lit were the only subjects I really mugged I guess. So hoh all's well and I'm not unhappy or anything. Actually I find it a bit funny cuz last year I used to be super anxious over grades and stuff but somehow this year, they don't seem to be of much priority. That's good. (:

Okay, going off now cuz I gotta bake my banana cake with creamy frosting. Yay funn! (:

And oh this weekend+next week's gonna be busy:

1. Bake cake
2. HSSRP proposal!
3. Some lit seminar at hwachong
4. Church! :D
5. Edit Icebreakers Proposal
6. Plenty of rehearsals for Dramanight?
7. Plenty of rehearsals for GB Cantata!
8. Cheers and Netball Carn!

And oh Kellie, I can't make it on Wednesday, how about Tuesday? Sorry!

2006-10-26T16:54:00.000+08:00

ELAINE'S BACK! (:

Tags
Huishan - it's ok la
Lucas/Nic - Haha ok, ehh I still haven't sent you the pic!
Tq - Hah I know! It's not my blog, it must've been my cam la! Seee pics without flash look so much better alright.
Issy - :D You'll see. Or maybe even nothing at all; dunno, depends. haha.
Annonymous - Thank you. (: And if you don't mind, who are you?
Kellie - Oh no sorry I have church! How about next Thursday afternoon?
Tq - Sorry what in the world are canvas pumps? Ok hah call me ignorant but I've only heard of canvas shoes.
Delia - I will! (: (Never really knew its existence though!)
Kellie&Tq - haha but it is super nice, you've just got to get past the first episode! Oh and tq the other time I was so agitated cuz I was in a bad mood la, yeah, haha sorry.
Issy - Updated!
Elaine - cuz you were like, then Jingyi shall hallucinate or something. haha fineee it's lame.
---

I haven't been blogging because, obviously (or not so obvious, maybe) I've been feeling quite sad. And when I'm sad, I just wanna shut out the whole world and immerse in my own thoughts or something, which would make me sadder so it's kinda like a vicious cycle but I broke out of it anyway! Thanks to God <3.

Sometimes you're just on the verge of crumbling under all your fears and insecurities and others' expectations of you; that's when you really turn to God because it's only in front of Him that you can really be who you are, naked and just you without the need to pretend or the constant worry of letting down expectations.

But anyway, went for bannerpainting yesterday and then met Eveline, Grace, Joyce and Nicole at Kap. Yay coregroup! (: It was super funny and somehow talked a lot 'bout random stuff like Goong (-squeals!-) and I-can't-remember-what-else. Nicole and I went to cold storage to get her chips and by the time we went back, everyone had left so we had dinner at Kap. It was still raining when we finished eating so haha we had to run in the rain and it was cold and wet but fun! To quote Nicole, "I feel like a fugitive".

Oh, and sorry to the people who tried to call me around that time; my phone died (kinda at the wrong time but then again hoh... XD)!

Went for the Humanities In Celebration (Hic! haha) thingum at hwachong which was super funny! But ahh we missed the first show (yes the one with Qihan/Zhonghan being topless and doing funny egyptian dances) though the rest were good as well! (: Haha I was rolling about laughing la especially at Yingjie-the-mugger forcing the lines of Singlish out, the people in Jiachen's play doing those comical kungfu movements and oh Our Hips Don't Lie!! Ahh Jerry's voice is really good and their dance was cool! Forlorn hope was kind of touching but ah I wasn't really in the mood for touching stuff. And I'm really and sincerely sorry Mr Alan Choo for the multiple stifled yawns cuz I'm just not a person who appreciates violin music (um, or make that classical music).

But last night really made me ecstatic and the effects didn't wear off the entire night I guess, cuz I was bouncing about this morning! Hoho :D

Anyway, Tzeqing and I only decided to apply for HSSRP today and we were like madly rushing out the proposal and omg we just have lots and lots of positive vibes about it yay! It was so hilarious, we were like squeezing out every cheem word we could dig up from our brains and thank God for Google+Wiki! Hahaha, it really reminded me of doing some of the concept writeups for slc except it was tons more fun (no offence, but it's just cuz it's Tzeqing la; working with her somehow makes everything fun :P). So I really really hope and have my fingers crossed and have prayers (soon to be) made that Tzeqing and I will get in for HSSRP and we don't have to do RS for the rest of our secondary school life.

But anyway, if we don't uh get in for HSSRP, uh we can still uh go for the parliament thingum, RIGHT? Yeah, I guess huh. I mean, Mr Chew's nice.

And arrgh I dunno I'm worried again. I thought everything was fine and dandy, yeah I know, I'm clueless. I need to talk to the person who can give me a clear and objective picture of everything.

~~This is one of the times when I really wish I wasn't a girl.~~
~~I need to stop feeling so insecure and being so sensitive~~

Shopping, anyone?

2006-10-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

Oh I just got reminded by Aida's post I haven't got new shoes for a superrrrrrr LONG time. I need new shoes! I mean like now, I only have the pathetic flip-flops and that pair from Charles&Keith and oh this old pair of wedges which I hardly ever wear. I'm in dire need of a pair of gorgeous, take-your-breath-away sandals. ):

Meaning, I need to go shopping! For pretty shoes! Anyone on?

And GOONG! (while I wait for Elaine's return, I've been tuning in to GOONG) Shin is such a jerk sometimes but he can be sweet! And Hyorin is an ASS la. And Yul is killercuteee with his brooding look and that shy-yet-subtly-mischievous-smile (yes cuter than Debbieyuen!). (:

Exams are over so like, rejoice!

2006-10-22T19:29:00.000+08:00

Tag Replies
Elaine - hahaha. And "draw my naked weapon out!" omg sicko shakespeare.
Kellie - haha yeahh! Um how about Wednesday? Let's ask Jan!
Tq- "G'luck" makes you sound like a goose! :D Haha if only you can get the real chewy for me. XP. Thanks dear, anyway how are you? Haven't talked to you for what, two days and uh I miss you, even if it sounds ridiculous.
Huiqi - haha thanks!
Huishan - you're welcome!
Nicole - haha stupid WONGY only tagged me cuz I tagged at her board! :D
Elaine - haha I realised my jeans were tight cuz my stomach was super bloated. You know it's like my body's going on a strike or something cuz I observed that whenever I skip a meal, my stomach would suddenly go all bloaty on me. ): No more dieting for me! And look! I just saw Elaine in my house! XP
Jolene - hahaha yeah reeese witherspoon! She's like a brainy bimbo la! She got accepted in Stanford man. :D
Issy - haha I think I've got something planned for Christmas already. :P Anyway, go you! And Christmas is like the time to tell the truth, so yeah spread your love baby! And yeah the cute little boy: "What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?" I so agree man. I so agree. -nod nod-.
----

I think I'd needed that; just a break from the craziness (or the silence actually) at home.

So I'm considerably happier and the fact that the exams are over has finally sunk in. So deep, in fact I'm fretting about with absolutely nothing to do. Aside from you know, youtubing Goong and watching onetreehill/movies.

Went out with Nongs on Friday, then Elaine had to leave cuz she was flying off later on. The whole cineleisure was literally swarming with rgs girls; it was a bit uh scary. Then we ate at Subway, which was disastrous for me the messy eater. And we watched Scoop which was a freaking hilarious show! I was laughing so much I kept banging into Tq who was sitting next to me. Oh the whole theatre was full of rgs girls too. Whaddya expect; we had just gotten our liberation.

Woody Allen! You can go Tzeqing's blog for the quotes. A classic, really.

Church yesterday was ok. I don't know, I was kinda stoning because well things just haven't been going well recently and you can say maybe subconsciously, even though I refuse to admit it, I'm kind of angry with God. Because I keep praying and sometimes it's just very disheartening when most of the prayers don't get answered. And you keep getting confusing signals and you aren't even very sure of what you're praying for. But I know that's not the right attitude and I've asked for His forgiveness and I'm trying, trying to change and trying to place everything in His hands again. I hate the devil who keeps thwarting His plans and giving all of us wrong thoughts and making us do the wrong things. ):

But I'll keep praying. And one day, things will be alright again. Yeah right now, we just have to keep holding on to Him.

Anyway, Happy Belated 15, Charlton! Yeah, went to his house for this surprise birthday party (which is like two weeks belated) and we had lots of cake, coke and played monopoly (I ~~nearly~~ owned!). Fun fun fun! : D Then the guys went for bowling and I left.

And hwachong seems like a really slack school, with slack rules and funky teachers. Hmmph. XD

And I wonder how've you been doing. Even though everything I've heard so far just makes me worry and wonder some more. Actually I don't really know why I work so hard for school either but I just hope that you'll get your fighting spirit up again. Or maybe you should just seek your passion(s) and that might give you reason to perk up? And what about your dreams? Yeah, what about all that? I really want you to be fine. (but it's not like you'll read this by any chance, so yeah I don't know what I'm writing all these for. Maybe it's just that tiny amount of hope...)

Anyway, I love my Nongs and I just want to say that no matter what you're going through at the moment, I'll be here for you alright? And Him too. Hugs.

Numb

2006-10-19T15:44:00.000+08:00

So the eoys have kinda zoomed past and there's only one last test before everything's over.

MATH.

Yay.

So I figured I should start mugging now, even though I don't really want to and I sure don't see why I should (that GPA? oh yeah. -snorts-). Yeah, been stoning and thinking and oth-ing and binging on ice-cream the whole afternoon. Feels good though. Needed something to make me feel better anyway.

And Elaine's flying off tomorrow. Bye dear, you'll be missed. And after the stupid survey the school's dumping on us just cuz our exams are over, I'm off to the movies with nic and tzeqing. <3

And I'll start about now with

Congruency
Similarity
Maps & Scales

hate.

2006-10-19T07:23:00.000+08:00

I hate you I hate you for making me hate.

You chose to walk out of my life; you can't just barge in like that. I'm not some computer game you can just save and exit and then reload again.

You know we're mad when we start spouting random R&J quotes on MSN

2006-10-17T17:56:00.000+08:00

Ahahaha. <3

Arrgh. 5 more papers and 3 more days! HANG IN THERE EVERYONE! (:

And Tzeqing was back today! Yayyyyy! :DD

Carrie Underwood <3

2006-10-16T14:49:00.000+08:00

Carrie Underwood songs are beautiful.

Lessons Learnt
There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for everytime,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I shouldn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some roads,
That I wish I could have one more chance to make,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

Starts with Goodbye
I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you're tryin to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go some of things I've loved,
To give to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you're tryin to fly,
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

Makes me wanna tear. I wish we annotated songs like that for Lit! And Onetreehill transcripts! (:

Used a quote from oth for my essay today!
John Steinback - "Every day you wait is another day you can't get back"

Okies. Back to mugging. (:

Eoys start tomorrow. Good luck to y'all and me too!

2006-10-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

Decided to carry a smaller bag to school tomorrow and was just packing my stuff when I found the 12slc pen! Hoho yes the one that made us all gape at its ridiculous pricing of five dollars. Shall bring it to school tomorrow and use it as a good luck charm yes. Cuz it's prettily black and silver. (:

And I groan! Because I've just wasted a whole night doing nothing but blogsurfing and randomly tagging and mrbrownshow-ing. But it's english tomorrow and there's exposition, which is kinda similar to blogging so I'm forgivable I guess.

And besides, who needs mugging when I'm already well-equipped with God's blessings and my good luck charm of a 12slcpen. :D

And thank you Kellie budd! And Roy the sexy. (:

And of course HaleyLAINE. And Lucas the boyfriend. -snorts-

Woohoo! (:

2006-10-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

Yeah baby yeah baby! :D

And my oth torrent finished downloading too!

Hoh Bitcomet is LOVE.

Hiatus still

2006-10-13T15:13:00.000+08:00

Oh forget it. I'm going on a hiatus from my hiatus.

I'm really grateful to God, because this time it only took me a few days to recover and even though there's still this really weird feeling, He's buried it deep down somewhere. He's helping me appreciate and concentrate on the other things life has to offer and... that's good I guess. Yeah, that's good.

And it's so easy to just get away from everything in school. But I'm no longer dreading going home anymore. Which is great.

No more mixed feelings, no more confused state of mind, and no more pretences because now I genuinely feel like smiling. (:

Anyway, I've been mugging pretty hard lately and I think mugging sort of makes me happy; it's the prospect of having to mug that brings me down down down. But all's fine, and I actually do get stuff in.

Oh but I miss you Tzeqing! Heh, I miss the "Jingyi-is-so-stupid" looks, the raising-of-one-eyebrow look, the peacefully-sleeping-in-class look and the emo-sleeping-in-class look and the smile-dripping-with-sarcasm look and the happily-beaming look. And and your snide but darn amusing remarks!

&Get well soon Nicole! Go away haze, you're making everyone sick. ):

Anyway, I'm so looking forward to stuff after the EOYs!
- Movie with Tzeqing+Nicole!
- Onetreehill marathon with nongs @ Lainey's house!
- Fila Gathering!
- Sleepovers!
- Wonders' Outing! (We haven't had a single one this year ): )
- 209 Party!
- Slc Outing?
- Buddy Outing!
- Pb farewell ):
- Christmas Cantata!
- Consistent attendance of Cell+Service!
- 6G gathering?
- PIT Camp!
- Some other board camp thingum!
- Christmas!
- Goong!
- My Lovely Samsoon!
- Moreee moreee One Treee Hill!
- Read read read chicklit/Agatha Christie! (or other great books)
- Movies! (The breakup/How to lose a guy in 10 days/Win a date with Ted Hamilton/Love Actually/High School Musical/The butterfly effect/Click/The Lizzie Mcguire Movie/Meet the Fockers/Princess Diaries 2/Confessions of a teenage drama queen/Walk the line/Just like heaven/Sweet Home Alabama/Vanity Fair/Pride & Prejudice)
- Go get a job or like learn something fun (like guitarr!) so I won't waste away my holidays

BRB!

2006-10-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

When
it's only 4 days to dateline of RS Report
and only 6 days to EOYs
while I've just wasted another afternoon doing nothing but going through another couple more one tree hill episodes, you know this calls for drastic action.

So, I'm going on a blogging+onetreehill HIATUS!

Don't miss me! I'll be back in a while (namely, the 20th when all hell is over and we're finally cut some slack).

But for now, feel free to stare at cute and sweet Nathan who stares back at you with those soulful eyes! (:

And my favourite female character out of the three, Haley. Oh what's with the hair.

And Brooke is just really, really pretty and really, really bimb+sweet

Peyton's beautiful and talented and has amazing legs and a great taste in music (quote elaine). :D

Lucas. The JERK! who cheated on Brooke in the show and cheated on Sophia Bush in real life. Gosh. I wanna slap him. (Ok fine he is super duper cute with killer looks so I probably would have melted before I slap him, if I even get the chance to meet him)

Ok sorry! Couldn't resist. One Tree Hill's a real nice show. Like, really REALLY.

Bye! Back to mugging. (:

Just a quick one (ok maybe that wasn't so quick but yeah you get the drift)

2006-10-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

Two whole days of annotating R&J. And you know what? I'm actually having fun. (:

And I'm looking forward to more of it. This is the only kind of mugging I actually love, you know. So much more than reading history notes or just plain digestion and regurgitation of Geog (Oh just damn that dam).

Blah. Makes me reconsider my subject combi. But I so do love learning history! Mind you, it's the learning part, and not so much of the studying part. Or so I realised.

And likewise, I think I love studying lit but hate learning it. If you even get what I mean.

Gosh. I think I'm doing too much lit. :/ It makes me read too much into things and it makes me write things that I'm not sure anyone other than me gets.

But anyway, I can do loads better (relatively) in history, but lit is just kinda not very stable for me. Oh well, lit isn't about doing well and I want to do well. But it's not like I choose subjects just because I do well in them (just look at my science grades, seriously) and I like history! But I like lit too cuz lit teaches me love, hope and just stuff about humanity and I did mention once I wanted to be a psychologist or something but I decided not to but I still do, erm, like studying humans and their behaviour/emotions. And the idea of doing Lit PTs along with all those snazzy costumes and fun and laughter and amusement just makes me wanna do lit more. And history pts are a major put-off. But history can be really interesting and fun (in class, but not out of class when you gotta do essay questions), with the right teacher. Ahh the keyword is, the right teacher. Oh no, this is confusing the hell out of me. >< I guess I'll decide after the eoys... there's still plenty of time for me to change right? Right? Right.

And sheesh, will Lucas/Brooke/Peyton just hurry up and settle their love triangle already. Although in the end, I do know Lucas ends up with Brooke and Peyton gets this new guy.
(Ahhh Elaine, I think I am getting addicted! But it's a nice way to get me motivated: two hours of studying=1 episode of onetreehill=yaye!)

Hoh for some reason, this has to be my favourite quote from R&J:
"With love's light wings I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out"

-GRIN-

---

I wish people would stop making jokes out of this. Because the truth is (and somehow I always try to be truthful with issues pertaining to this), I care a lot. And I don't know why but I might be a coward and I might not always do what is right, but I know how my heart feels. And that my heart cares. Or else I wouldn't be feeling this way, would I?

And I don't really mind if it's unrequited (Maybe I did, but that was quite a long time ago and I wish people would get over it). Because I didn't want to actually get anything out of this (have I mentioned that I don't believe in teenage relationships? Yeah I really don't, even though sometimes I say stuff out of impulsity that proves otherwise).

You know, as much as I seem frivolous and happy-go-lucky, as much as I seem like a ditzy airhead, there are still things that mean a lot to me. And I don't usually show it (why should I) but yeah, I care a lot more than y'all think I do.

And I get worried.

And that wasn't intended to be emo; I was just trying to say how I feel. Arrgh it's at times like this when I wish I had the vocabulary to express exactly what I want to say. Maybe they're right, maybe some things just can't be expressed in words.
---

Tag Replies:

Issy - haha Lucas is MINE. MINE, hear that? ROAR. But I like Nathan much better anyway; he's so sweet and besides, he's much cuter than Lucas! And yeah, connections are everywhere haha. But it's not really that great sometimes.
Vic - Nononono! Sam is self-proclaiming that I crush her. When the fact is, I don't.
Kellie - Haha thankyou! Jiayou for your eoys too!
Haley/Lainee- Agreed. Y'all should just fight over Nathan man! He's DA MAN.
Huishan - Oh I didn't know you watched one tree hill too!

2006-10-07T20:05:00.000+08:00

Watching One Tree Hill, it's really good! (: (Thanks Lainey aka Haley hoho)

Dan is such a JERK. Grrr. Sometimes I wish I can just climb in and punch him or something. I feel sorry for Nathan. And Nathan+Lucas when they're not fighting are funny. Brooke is funny too! Ok sometimes, she gets on my nerves. Oh no! Gosh. I should, you know, get down to mugging. Like really mug, and not annotate R&J with the speakers blaring. ):

Ok I'll really really start after one more episode of one tree hill. (Oh man, high school sucks, Haley's still like not mixing with Brooke/Peyton even after that night spent together, just cuz they're like in the popular crowd)

I used to love lit you know. Until we had to memorize quotes, and read the same darn thing over and over again. Anyhow, I still do like lit I guess cuz it's really not that bad; I'm just lazy I guess.

And yay! Lucas and Nathan are kind of friends! For now at least, anyway. :D

Oh btw, THANK YOU EUNICE! For the gold handbag. Hohoho nothing's too glam for me. :p

And thanks Eveline, for baking the cheesecake! I love cheesecake. It's like the best thing in the world! Even better than chocolates! I had like 3 fat slices or something! (And I'm not going running, saving time for mugging!) so like whooha, jingyi's preparing to get fat! Anyway, who cares la huh. So long as I can still fit into my jeans.

Ok I gotta plan out my mugging schedule, assuming I finish watching (and have the self-control to stop) at 8.15, then I take a 15min shower, I'll officially start mugging at 8.30pm, oh I'll stop at 12 cuz like I sleep at 12.

8.30pm - Lit (annotation, annotation)
9.00pm - Break (um, eat something, because all food is brain food)
9.15pm - Math
10pm - Geog (and eat while I read)
11pm - Lit
12pm - Sleep (:

Tadah! That's like 3 and 1/2 hours straight, not bad eh! And ohmyword, Sam is sooo funnyyy (as in funny weird):

sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
no i will not make out with you!
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
sad right?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
i know.
12slc! oth besties! says:
you wiil not make out iwth me?
12slc! oth besties! says:
I so did not ask!
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
totally did d00d.
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
you hinted.
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
and hinting worse.
12slc! oth besties! says:
I didn't I didn't!
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
: D
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
: D
12slc! oth besties! says:
what did I say?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
YOU DID
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
uhmmm
12slc! oth besties! says:
what did I say?
12slc! oth besties! says:
heyyyy?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
DONT YOU THINK JIALI IS SO CUTE
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
12slc! oth besties! says:
hahaha of course I do
12slc! oth besties! says:
then?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
OH WAIT
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
NO
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
ITS
12slc! oth besties! says:
whats what?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
12slc! oth besties! says:
hoh sam, did you just come from spending a whole day with jiali or something?
12slc! oth besties! says:
yeah THEN?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
YOU WERE JEALOUS
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
so you hinted!
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
HAHAHAHA
12slc! oth besties! says:
I'm not JEALOUS!
12slc! oth besties! says:
ohmyword sammmmm
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
and hinting worse.
12slc! oth besties! says:
I didn't I didn't!
12slc! oth besties! says:
please, my sexuality was already defined from the moment I was born
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
YOU WERE EXCITED
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
EXCITED BAD
12slc! oth besties! says:
I WASN't!
12slc! oth besties! says:
ohnoohno
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
EXCITED EQUALS DENIAL
12slc! oth besties! says:
sam, just confess if you like love me or some thing ;D
12slc! oth besties! says:
you don't have to do this, you know
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
DENIAL EQUALS SOMETHING TO DENY
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
SOMETHING TO DENY EQUALS YOU WANT TO
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
: D
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
hahaha
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
: d
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
: D
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
: F
12slc! oth besties! says:
Doood you're totally REE-DEE-COO-LOUS!
12slc! oth besties! says:
oh what's :F supposed to mean?
12slc! oth besties! says:
You're like showing your buck teeth?
12slc! oth besties! says:
baring your teeth?
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
NO
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
VAMPIRE FACE
12slc! oth besties! says:
hohoho. you don't have to do that, you're a natural
sam <3; there's a danger in lovin someone too much says:
OIYEE

Eurrgh.

2006-10-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

It all just makes me feel so inadequate.

Human nature is ugly. So hideous and gruesome sometimes you forget that God created us. But he created us perfect (if you ever went and thought about it, like I did today, due to sudden and shocking enlightenment from someone); it was us who marred ourselves.

God didn't want us to be lonely, so he created friends. But no, we had to manipulate, backstab and turn everything around to our advantage, to our own selfish set of goals and values. But, let me just tell you, that ain't gonna work. So please, will you stop.

(I wasn't referring to any specific individual, if you were wondering)

And the song below, perhaps it's for you.
---
Lying there in your own dark
World still alive and in pain
Trapped inside closed walls in your mind
Your ball and chain 'til death do you part again

Let me out of here
Let me be free

Starting at the mirror behind your eyes
Who is that you see
Lost in dreams in visions your own
All at once you see now you start to scream

Well I can't break free
From these walls surrounding
Someday I'll be
Who I am and not another

Now I'm feeling so insecure
Always running away from myself
Living a lie inside a prisoner of your own soul
Of your own soul

Slowly you walk down your beaten
Pathway a longer walk today
Still in bonds your own ropes holding
All alone you think of another way

But there's no escape
This false pretense that you're leading
Someday you'll be
Who. you are and not another

Now you feeling so insecure
Always running away from yourself
Living a lie inside a prisoner

Now can't you see this neverending circle
You will always travel
And it's time for you to break free
Another day another way
Will see you through your low existence
You are so all alone a prisoner
Of your own soul, of your own soul

You can't break free you're inside so all alone
The walls you put in your mind
This cell you call home
Desperate and so on the edge I see in your eyes
There's only one way out you'll find
Quit living the lies

There comes a time for decisions
I know
You cannot deny your heart's vision
Escape forever

Prisoner (of your own soul) - by Oracle

Updates!

2006-10-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

Yayyyy RS is over babehhhh! :D

I'm like pretty sure ahHA hates us, she refused to look at our beautiful final product! The ass. One day I'm gonna shove our booklet up your asssss man. But anyway, I like the other owww guy. He kept smiling. Which is a good sign I guess.

But we've still got the stupid report. GRAH. Anyway, sorry nongs for being so pms-ey today! But thanks anyway for the note. I love Peyton, Lucas and Hayley alright. (:

And omg Mrs Leslie is so sick!

We were being noisy and Mrs Leslie went:
Girls! Do you want me to do to you what I do to my boys?
I stomp on their balls!
Like pish pish (-does weird squeezing gestures-)
muahahaha this is called the splosh-splat torture.

You can imagine, the class went hysterical.

---
Saturday night was the funny but at the same time tedious and also annoying ORA dinner.

Woah, the rafflesian spirit was so strong. I think old men are a cheesy bunch (who think they and their jokes are oh-so-funny, HAHAHA, take that). And it was especially entertaining to see a whole lot of them croaking out the RI school song. Catherine's voice is POWER! Her singing was so awesome! And Joyce was pro; she sold like all and so much more of the raffle tickets.

And the idiot was such an idiot. Go away you idiot!

Anyway, photos:

Oh I hate camera flashes. They make me look like a pirate!

(Yes that was with flash)

Jiacong & Mrs Wee

Shijia/xiner/me

Stealing peanuts at the pan pacific!

shijia and her jiacong-adoring. :D

Ge/Zhiying/Me/Shijia/Xiner/Wanjoo/Grace/CherylTeo

Ok uh shijia/xiner/me again. Haha photowhoring! :P (cuz we were thaat bored)

Lainey's first time in the ~~chrismas tree getup~~ pretty green blazer! LOVE.

And omg I love my RS group!

Even though we took two days to get stuff done and still, we barely spent more time on working than we did on playing and eating, My rs groupmates rock! (: They make the whole process so much more enjoyable and tolerable! Can't imagine what would have happened if you guys were an uptight bunch of turnips. -shudders-

Hoho, the amount of food we ate just proves how mentally and physically draining RS is: 2 and a half bottles of coke/7-up/sprite, 2 pizzas, one takeoutful of chicken drumlets, rice, char siew, omelettes, cuttlefish strips, and those san cha thingums!

We played the mcdonalds game from puffgames.com and Crazy Taxi.

And Krystal tsai is so funny and blur and cute!

Ellyn: blah blah chad michael murray blah blah sophia bush
Krystal: I thought Sophia Bush was George Bush's daughter?
Ellyn: NO!
Krystal: I thought that's why she got famous cuz of her father? She doesn't sing or anything right?
Ellyn: She acts!

Me: -bursts into some random song-
Ellyn: I've just confirmed my suspicions that Jingyi is tone-deaf
Krystal: She needs tuning!

Krystal: Heyyy I'm a King ok!
Vanessa: Prove to me you're a king and not a queen
Ellyn: Ohmygod that's so sick!
Krystal: Huh what? I don't get it!
Me: Krystal you're slowww!

Krystal: I need to do history FA!
Me: What history FA?
Krystal: Have!
Me: What's the question?
Krystal: -pauses- Dunno.

Ellyn: I need to do history FA!
Me: Huh got history FA meh?
Ellyn: Who's your teacher?
Me: Brydenchew
Ellyn: Aiyah he gave so many hints already still need to give what shit FA?

Vanessa: -reading some teenager mag- ewww there's this girl who's 14 and has done it with two guys!
Vanessa: -lets out a loud BURP-
Ellyn: Vanessa! That's like more disgusting than what you just said you know!

I love my RS group. (:

We so pwn! :D (Me/Krys/Van/Ellyn)

2006-09-30T11:31:00.000+08:00

Fish fish fish!

Freaking AhHA is our evaluator for RS presentation on Monday! DARN.

Just our luck eh. She kinda hates three out of four of our RS group.

Oh it's been one and a half hours at Krystal's place and we aren't even halfway done. How comforting.

There's something in your eyes
There's something in your smile
Something that will move meee
Makes me want to sing, makes me want to dance,makes me want to cryyy
I'm falling in love with you!

Corrinne May's niceeee. (:

Alright, gotta go back to work. gahh. I hate work.

2006-09-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

Life'd be so boring if everything were fine and dandy and nothing ever went wrong. It's just like writting an essay with no given topic; you'd suddenly find yourself at a loss for words. In the same way, you wouldn't know how to go about living life if there were no constraints. It'd be hard to see a purpose as well. I think I kind of understand what Louise once mentioned in her personal exposition, that life would be incredibly boring if everyone got what they wanted and nobody had to work for anything.

And I think I'm beginning to see perfection in imperfections (excuse the irony).

Hoh Kellie, that's why I insist he's perfect!

It's really scary because I've never felt death so close to me until recently. Which is perhaps why I don't really know how to respond appropriately but I hope yingjie and vanessa will have strength, and courage. God bless them.

And nearly everyone I know is going through lots of emotional turmoil right now. It makes me wish I'm superhuman and I can make everything go right again. But that's hardly possible. Grah.

Plans for tonight:
Running
RS inference&conclusion
Mug Geog!
QT
Sleep

Plans for tomorrow:
Go to school (and get blazer, stupid stupid me)
RS at Krystal's house @ swanage rd (gahh.. hafta miss church)
Dinner?
Some ORA dinner that includes me bugging members of the higher end of the society - probably a display of extravagance and affluence (-snorts-)
Sleep

Oh the mundanity of it all: Eat sleep school mug eat sleep school mug.

2006-09-28T18:36:00.000+08:00

Thank you Issy. That was really sweet of you. The letter was really touching. I nearly cried, you know that? (:

I'm sorry I have to disappoint you but I don't know, I don't wanna be so tired again. I promise to email you at least every week, and talk to you on MSN whenever I can, alright? And we can still go out! Even though we won't see each other regularly, we can give each other regular updates on our lives! And I agree it was so amazing and unbelievable the way we just clicked and grew so close to each other. You're one of the few people whom I pour my heart out to. And that started just a few weeks after I met you, when I barely knew you. Somehow, I believe it is God's will that we met and grew on each other so quickly.

And I don't care about what other people have to say about you. Because you are my friend and I trust you. And lots and lots and lots and lots of love to you too dear. Don't ever let anyone hurt you or get you down, ok?

---
French exam was ok today. Except that the listening sucked. Couldn't catch a word. Yuck, I'd rather take oral ten thousand times than take one listening compre.

I'm so glad I pulled through French (there were numerous times when I had just wanted to quit) and next year, I wanna go for the France-Immersion trip thingum! Sounds fun :D. But then again, my french is kind of lousy. Oh well.

Hawhaw, am really bored now and I don't know what to do. BAH. Don't feel like mugging cuz am gonna mug with tq tomorrow at kap anyway. Oh I shall go dig for old videos to watch!

2006-09-27T19:40:00.000+08:00

Big thank you to Weiling/Davin/Douglas for the pretty poster! Hoh it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm gonna frame it or something, with um a self-constructed frame.

And thank you darling tq and lainey for the Project pinko! The pencil case was just what I needed. (:

"Nothing's ever too pink for Jingyi." Rightos!

Confirmations was ok. It took a huge load off my mind, actually. I hope it was fine for the rest of my batch as well. According to Daveen, they decided to be nicer this time round. Oh I'm a little airy and I lack analytical skills and I'm not visionary and assertive enough. Okay. Gotta be less airy (which, according to zhihui, means more practical) and perhaps being less airy would lead to me being more analytical. But I always used to think I'm quite an assertive person. I don't know. Shall try to be firmer then.

Bah. I hate having a blocked and runny nose. And having to sneeze every three minutes or something.

And yay, no school for me tomorrow! But French final exam! ahh. Shittt. I promised Madame I would study!

Ahh I hate how us humans abuse everything we've got.

Gunpowder was discovered for firework displays and then people went and used it for wars.
Drugs were made to heal and people use it for pleasure.
God gave us mouths to communication, and [some] people use it for bitching.

Fish. I'm scared for French. Like, the first time ever. Cuz there're no more chances. This is it, the final one.

It's so disappointing when your positive presumptions about a person are so easily shattered by what other people say.

2006-09-26T17:42:00.000+08:00

Hoho life's been really good lately. Went home with Kellie again today! Yay I love going home with Buddy!

Gossip, gossip! :D

Ahh anyway, tomorrow's Confirmations Part I and I don't know I don't dread it or anything, so I suppose it should be fine?

Tzeqing, don't worry, it's gonna be fine for you too! Anyway, my shoulder's here for you to lean on. (As always).

RS was so fun just now! Mr Yeoh was being super spastic. He punched the air every 1 minute or something and he kept saying we must have a secret weapon. Hoho, and for the first time I feel like we're actually working. You know, aside from munching on snacks and spacing out.

Ah well, presentation time's next Tuesday (which is less than a week). Grah.

Thank you Aida for the powerpuff girl mug and the tote! And I don't just wanna be a virtual best friend, how about a real one? Though it's kinda hard la. ): Yuck. I hate reshuffling. But then again, without reshuffling, I wouldn't have met tq lainey nic and other niners! Bah. What a dillemma.

Thank you Yifei for the pouch thingum! Hoho. <3.

Oh you know something, I keep forgetting people's birthdays (I'm sory!) but I received so many birthday presents/wishes! Shall make it up to everyone in Christmas! (:

And thank you God for your blessings! Because I know without you, I really am nothing and would have nothing.

To-be-done
1. Edit RICE proposal
2. Jog! (and listen to McFly/Relient K)
3. Dinner
4. Study for French (bleurghs) - Imparfait/Conjugaison/Vocabulaire/Subjonctif/Sentence structures
5. Study Chemistry - symbols/other random stuff/do long overdue chem worksheet/do fresh chem worksheet
6. Prepare apron/containers for cooking tmr
7. QT
8. Sleep

Nice. (:

Best day ever! :D

2006-09-24T21:45:00.000+08:00

Today was the greatest day ever!

And the perfect party! :D

We were really happy cuz we were all eating happy meals in the happy room! Hoho the people outside must've been wondering what a group of tall, lanky teenagers were doing in the tiny room meant for tiny people. But I still had so much fun! I love kiddie parties!

Thank you Kellie, Elaine, Tzeqing and Nicole! Thank you darlings for organizing it and making me suprised in the end (although I accidentally found out about the supposedly surprise party)! Yeah I really didn't expect so many people. The moment I stepped into the room, I was like WOAH. Ahhh especially him! I'll never forget those parts! Gosh. hehheh I nearly started hyperventilating right on the spot.

Thank you Qihan for inviting the slc people!

Thank you Lainey, Kellie, Rachel, Zhengning, Victor, Jinyao, Weiling, Jiacong, Vivien, Joyce, Zhonghan, Jeremy, Davin, Douglas, Charlton, Qihan, Eveline, Damian and Guanyu for coming! Thanks for taking the time and effort to come even though your EOYs are approaching (I know the hwachong eoys are next week and some of the rg exams are next week as well and the sec 3s have a lot of pts). You guys really really made my ~~day~~ year! -BIG FAT CHEESY GRIN-

Oh man the party was super fun! At least I did have loads of fun! :D We had this girl who was around our age, whom we all stubbornly called "auntie", leading the party and we played really cute games like "Blow Wind Blow" and "Simon Says" (and I got a forfeit for both! -snorts-) and then I had to like do a chicken dance/coconut-tree-dance around Joyce and Qihan had to faux-propose to me! hehheh that was so ridiculously amusing cuz Lainey and I were shouting stuff like Where's the bouquet? Where's the 15carat diamond ring? And and and, Damian sang "Can't Fight The Moonlight"! And then while we ate, they played kiddie songs like "B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name O!", "Barney is a dinosaur, with lots of imagination!" and "Scooby dooby doo, where are you?". Ahhh and he was soooo sweet and sooooooo nice. :D

Hohoho I've been floating about on Cloud 14! (nooo, not cloud9 XD)

Here's to my lovely friends for letting me feel so much of your love and making me so happy and so full of the sugary sweet feeling that's overwhelming me right now! (:

Thank you Guanyu and Damian for the candle! (It did light up my day!)
Thank you Lisa, Vienna, Xianning for the earrings!
Thank you Vim & Debby for the nike shirt!
Thank you Kellie & Janice for the green tea cake, and the Fila shirt and the letter! (Yes I'll never forget Fila, my batch)
Thank you Eveline for the book and the note! (Shall find time to read it eh)
Thank you Zhengning for the necklace!
Thank you Charlton for the shell and feather necklace and the card!
Thank you Weiling for the photo frame!
Thank you Qihan for the winnie the pooh alarm! (hoho I'm not pretty enough to attract lechers, don't worry)
Thank you Victor and Jinyao for the star-shaped pillow (and the recycled piece of art)!
Thank you Thashi and Rachel for the hush puppies shirt and the card!
Thank you Zhonghan for the doggie keyring! (it's cute)
Thank you Vivien and Joyce for the adorable earrings and the baby sock and the beautiful orchids and the chinese letter that was supposed to help improve my chinese!
Thank you Douglas for the doggie soft toy!
Thank you Jeremy for the cute weird (but still cute) plant thingum soft toy!
Thank you Jiacong for the well-thought-out letter! (hoho, have long gotten over)
Thank you Yingjie for the cute and creative (not cheesy) cube thingum!

And thanks Zaf, Issy, Vim, Lainey, Tzeqing, Debbie, Eileen, Hui Shan, Jia Chen, Jianrui, Nicole, Claudia, Lingyan, Louise's sister, Fiona, Lisa, Jinyao, Wanyi, Thashi, Vivien, Wanhui, Limhui, Aida, Joseph, Boonyang and Jolene for the tags/testis/sms-es/calls!

Ohmygosh I LOVE LOVE everyone! BIG BIG HUGS TO ALL! :D

P.S. Sorry if I missed anyone out, or if I matched the wrong present to the wrong giver!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VIVIEN TEO EE NAH AS WELL! 25th SEPTEMBER BABY. Thank you for always being there for me throughout SLC, for providing me so much care, concern and comfort, as well as companionship. Thanks for being such a great friend to talk to and for all the advice/cheering up regarding reptiles. Hope your dreams/birthday wishes will all come true and God Bless (:

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands, CLAP CLAP!

2006-09-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

Had a very satisfying dinner just now. -BURRP-. Hoh. I think I'm in the process of turning into a pig. Or maybe I already am one, but i'm like evolving or something. I eat so friggin' much! Maybe there's like a ringworm in my tummy or sth, sucking up every single thing I eat, cuz I can't believe how huge my apetite is sometimes.

Lit-PT-ed at Lainey's house today. (I can't believe we finished everything in two meetings) and had a huge lunch (Pizza, garlic bread and butterscotch icecream with sponge cake)! Typical. It's afterall, Lainey's house. (Oh and I've gotten over the fact that her house is at Sunset Way, hohoho).

We took a huge interest in Lainey's bro's personal life, hawhaw. Because it had a really rich history and there were pictorial records of every single chiobu. Thankfully, her bro is in Australlia right now and he won't read what I just wrote. And oh, Elaine was really cute when she was a baby! She reminded me of a baby Barney! (hahaha, shh let's not tell her, shall we)

Then we watched snippets of Love Actually and omg it's sooooo sweet and funny! And, just some quotes from this ego, horny, ugly as hell guy, whatshisname: "I'm Prince William without the weird family!~ I'm the God of Sex!"

Hahaha anyway, I so am looking forward to tomorrow! It's a special day lalala. For special people! -BEAMS-

Oh, was just surfing youtube when I remembered this really old video! (Taken in like July or something)

LaineyLau's very own expert guide to Brisbane Bushdancing!

2006-09-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

!!!! Had a really strange encounter today. 0.0

Zaf and I were just hanging around J8 after french; we were minding our own business talking about the usual stuff, when suddenly this slightly demented old man with baldspots and wearing a checkered cheekopeh shirt appeared out of nowhere and started roaring, "RAFFLES GOOD SCHOOL! I WAS FROM RI YOU KNOW!"

Zaf and I freaked out. He vaguely reminded us of a stalker. We ran in the opposite direction and decided to catch our breath at what appeared to be one of those kiddy rides when I realised it was a BARNEY one. Of ALL the cute and colourful and ~~cheat-our-money~~ immensely entertaining kiddy rides, it had to be barney. Zaf put her file down, and omg whaddya know, stoopid Barney started singing!

Then we tried to figure out which way the stalker-cum-ri-graduate had gone so we could try as much as possible to avoid him.

French was funny today. Madame was really pms-ey at first (it's a permanent condition of hers, actually) but then later on she decided to become friendlier. Oh I noticed whenever Madame smiles, her skin will go all crinkly and her eyes will become so small they almost disappear into the folds of her skin, sort of like two tiny little raisins on a bun.

But I like my french class! Everyone is so interesting and full of personality. :D I so regret ponning all those lessons throughout the year. Oh well, am gonna work super hard for Examen Finale!

Shall prove to Madame that I'm really not as stupid as I seem (and as Issy said, the nush people aren't the only one who'd be able to do well, hoh no offence to nush people though, they're nice la).

Anyway, French oral was fine yesterday. Lunch with Zaf/Munya/Fiq/Vanessa/Farizan was super funny (PRATAS)! Here're just some exerpts of the hilarious attempt at praticing oral between Zaf and Moo:

Zaf: Je voudrais acheter des oeufs. (I would like to buy some eggs)
Munya: How do you say out of stock in french? Ok nevermind, mon épicerie est ferme.
Zaf: Close? Your shop is closed? Je n'aillerai jamais a votre épicerie! (I will never go to your grocery shop again)
Vanessa: Huh? So rude! Are you sure you can say that to your teacher?
Munya: Oui, oui. C'est bon, c'est bon! (Yes, yes, very good, very good)

~

Zaf: Je voudrais acheter un champignon (I would like to buy a mushroom)
Munya: Est-ce que tu voudrais le vin? (Would you like the wine?)
Zaf: Ooo la la! Je suis muslim! Munya! I’m muslim, how can you ask me to buy wine?
Munya: But you asked for champagne what!
Zaf: Where got champagne?
Munya: CHAMPIGNON? Isn’t that champagne!
Zaf (laughing her ass off): Nooooo! Champignon is mushroom!

Ok gotta rush now. Gotta make my morbid black nightdress out of a garbage bag (because I'm Juliet in the balcony scene of R&J), type out minutes, make two tombstones, make a fake balcony and complete my evaluation forms. SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT.

(Thank you Kellie, Tzeqing and Elaine, and Isabelle, and Zaf)

I've lost that spark in my eyes, because I can feel it.

2006-09-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

I'm getting really easily worn out. Been falling asleep all over the places ('cept in class because the terms "EOY" and "MUG" are permanently stuck in my head right now), and when I say falling, I mean it literally. Nearly fell out of my seat in the bus just now. 0.0

Anyway, realised something today that's not exactly new. Numbers aren't just numbers, they represent a multitude of other things that can either make or break you. Go figure (pun intended).

Cooking was fun. Cupcakes cuppycakes cuppity cakes. But I'm really sick of them, as of today. Oh, and next week we have to make some more! Drat. Ok la, but at least apples and oats make it interesting. So does partner-in-cooking that goes by the name of LISA.

I think super low socks that make you look like you aren't wearing any socks are disgusting. Especially if you're wearing those converse canvas shoes at the same time. But then again, it's not like I support high socks. Medium-length, medium-length's the thing. And low belts aren't cool. They make you look like mermaids. And well, seriously, if you think mermaids are beautiful, I dunno what to say.

All I want is an explanation. Or at least a reason. I hope you get well soon anyway. How would we (or I) know how childish we (or I) are (or am) without anyone telling us why what who when?

Not worth reading.

2006-09-20T14:11:00.000+08:00

And your point is...?

Not that I care about any shizz. Pfft.

2006-09-19T20:37:00.000+08:00

I don't get you.

2006-09-17T11:52:00.000+08:00

The reason I haven't been blogging (much) is cuz I've been mugging! YAY! Hoho I'm so proud of myself, if you didn't already know, this is like the first time I've been mugging this year.

Have gotten my Subjonctifs and River Energy down prat! Atta me! :D

Going to start on Chemistry bonding today. (I borrowed Chemistry for Dummies from the library ok, don't pwray pwray!)

The geog and french test results I got back on Friday really shook me hard and made me realise I've been barely bothering about my grades (when they're plunging lower than a hollywood dress neckline).

Friday's lunch with Roy, Zaf, Aida, Afiqah (um, it's afiqah right?) was super fun! I pigged out. Pratas, then sushi, then more pratas! :D And we were trying to rush through our french hw which was due like half an hour later and Afiqah was blasting McFly and TAAR songs using her handphone. And I was miming the playing of a guitar with very realistic "Twang twang" sounds.

And oh, our curry dripped everywhere.

Church, as usual, came just at the right time. It reminded me to get my focus right, not on myself, but on God. Yeah everything else doesn't matter, except for what He wants us to do. As long as we follow God's Will, nothing will go wrong. It's when we insist on doing things the way we want it that all those problems occur. Trust in God and love him. Yep. (:

And I think He does have a reason for everything that happened in my life thus far.

Oh, I pierced my ears! I'm wearing star-shaped studs, so now I've got stars on my ears! hoho.

And thankyou Jinyao:

LOL. (Not true.. not true!)

And this is really cute!

Ok! Gotta go do my RS survey results analysis (thank you all who did it, btw)/do Chem bonding/ask maids to do my survey. Byebye!

And I need to know if Elaine/Nicole's ok. ):

Funny friends. :D

2006-09-13T20:34:00.000+08:00

Tzeqing: Ahh Nicole! What's Jingyi doing with your phone in her hands!
Nicole: Jingyi! Stop that right now and give my phone back to me or else I'm gonna take drastic action! I'm going to CANCEL YOUR PARTY.
Elaine: Hoho yeah this is your first warning!
Nicole: No! There are no more warnings! We don't give chances! If you take one more peek at my phone, I'm going to cancel your party, cancel everything, steal the refund from you and never celebrate your birthday again your whole life!

---

Vivien: Oh, Joyce and I were thinking of writing a birthday card saying "Jingyi's birthday party: GOH - ***"

---

Math Question: Find the perimeter of the Paralellogram below.
Lisa: -Took her pen, drew an outline of the paralellogram and proudly wrote "Here's the perimeter! That's easy!".-

---

Math: Vim/Vienna/Debby/Razia/Anusha were having a competition to see who finishes the math worksheet first.
Vim: Ehhh! You copied mine you're disqualified!

---

Mrs Anis (she was doing the EAT. THINK. PLAY health ed thingum): What's beauty?
Debbywong: I AM! -beams-

---

Me: -did the thousand-and-oneth stupid thing
Sam (smirking): Your intellectual level, Jingyi.
---

Hahahah I really really love my friends! (:

Hoh celebrated Zhengning's birthday at Island Creamery today. Had a really nice mudpie (that spoiled my dieting plans) and it was quite a small and private? affair and was quite nice. But I guess everyone's stressed out over exams and stuff. Good luck and Mug Hard, y'all!

(And if you ever read this, jiayou for chem, hope you do better in your next test!)

Oh I can't stand my mum. I am not your punchbag, for goodness's sake. Don't take everything out on me. -.-

I can't wait til the day I grow up and get my own job and get my ass out of the damn house.

For now, I seek comfort in God, and the people he blesses me with. :D

Tagged.

2006-09-12T18:20:00.000+08:00

7 random facts about me;

God loves me!
I love my friends!
My birthday is coming really soon!
I miss SLC! But I can't find some of the notes people wrote me. :(
Sometimes people don't take me seriously
I think one's passion is more important than one's capability
I love McFly/Relient K/TAAR!

7 things that scare me;

Depression (happening to either myself or others)
Being misjudged/misunderstood
Someone hating me
Bitching & Backstabbing
Heights & Injections
Dying & Death
Not getting confirmed for PB/people in my batch not getting confirmed for PB

7 bad habits;

I'm sensitive
I'm blunt and tactless
I don't know the right words to say that will cheer someone up
I don't know how to let the people whom I love and care for know that I love and care for them.
I judge even though I shouldn't and sometimes it's so subconscious I barely notice.
I get easily annoyed with things... or people.
I can't control my emotions.

Tagged by Elaine. (Please take care.)

[EDIT]
Haha THANKYOU LISA VIENNA XIANNING for the early birthday present (the silver earrings from Perlini's Silver)!

Yeah I love the earrings! Hahaha. My mum thinks they look good on me!

And yes Lisa, I love you too! (:

Hohoho I'm really looking forward to THAT SPECIAL DAY now. :D I love my friends for putting in so much effort and I know a little bit about the secret surprise party that I will be (-quote tzeqing-)duly surprised(-unquote-) at. :p

2006-09-11T10:28:00.000+08:00

[typed this at school when I was in a cheery mood]
Haha thankyou elaine for yesterday. (:

Went to her house at Sunset Way (haha) for lit pt and before that I got lost. AGAIN! (-snorts-). Haha but I was like trying to do whatever he does when he goes home. Guess I got on the wrong bus! Ended up somewhere at Bukit Batok (Debbieyuen if you're reading this, it's the same place we ended up at the other time we got lost!)

Hoho then finally got off at the correct bustop. I saw the sunshine thingy saying "Welcome to Sunset Way" and it triggered so many memories. Then I started running. Haha ran and ran downhill. And then finally reached Lainey's house, just in time for LUNCH! :D I ate so much ohmyword. Lisa's been going around telling everyone very smugly just how much I ate (or rather, wolfed) down! Hah. 3 slices of pizza, 3 drumlets, lots of garlic bread, lots of strawberry cheesecake ice-cream and only 2 brownies ok! (:

Haha then when everyone else left, Elaine and I went to the playground near her house and we sat on the swings. And we swang and swang, and talked and talked. It was really nice hearing about her memories. While I thought about... mine (can't really call them memories, can I?). And Elaine dear, follow your heart and don't give up! (:

I like swings! 'Cept I'm kinda scared of heights.

Anyway, thankyou for the tags! They are very much appreciated. And I feel better! Haha yay I love school. I missed everyone (except for tq/laine/nic hoho, youknowwhy) and everyone's just so funny and friendly. It really cheers you up!

Heh had PE just now and I kept thinking about basketball and tall people. And armpits (read my April Archive). :P

And I'm sorry for having doubted God. I should know to trust Him. Always. And the only things I pray for now are strength and love. Which is what I really need.

Hebrews 11:1
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

I think God was teaching me to be patient and to have faith. Anyway,

Today, exactly 5 years ago, the 911 incident took place. (Please pray for those who lost their loved ones and pray for the victims)
Less than 13 days to Vivien's birthday! (Hoho I remembered!)
13 days to my birthday! (-BIG FAT HINT!-)
2 weeks to Issy's exams! (Good luck dear!)
5 weeks to EOYs (Start to MUG MUG MUG!)
Less than 3 months to Christmas! (:D)
[End of cheery mood]

I am friggin' pissed because MSN is not working and I can't bug people to do my RS survey. Which only has a pathetic 25 participants. THANKYOUVERYMUCH to those who did it anyway!

Now please please please go get your family/friends/neighbours/whatever (if they have a maid la) to do my survey which is on maids!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/Users/41951229/Surveys/194832470175/0CC506FE-80F8-4DF6-9F6C-DB497DA64A80.asp?U=194832470175&DO_NOT_COPY_THIS_LINK

THANKS SO MUCH!

I'm freaking out because others are starting on their report while we're still stuck at the survey stage. Plus, it's due in week 3 (not the week 5 I've been stupidly thinking) and if I don't pass my RS, I'll be stuck in sec 2!!! THE HORRORS. But honestly, sec 2 sounds good. Grah.

And my dear mummy whom I love very much, can you please stop being such a control freak!

2006-09-10T09:50:00.000+08:00

It was fine until I blew it. Why am I such an idiot. My idiocy/stupidity was magnified 100000 times when he was around. And I was so scared. (Of what?) And it was really sad because, because, I had really looked forward to it. Being normal and getting to know each other. Like, a fresh start. I just wanted to be friends. I never expected anything.

I was so excited at first but I had this omnious sense of dread, for some reason, that he wouldn't make it. Then I got the sms and I didn't even dare read it at first but I thought it was really nice of him to be so nice anyway. Then I was so happy when I found out he was better again. And he could come. And I was so full of foolish joy and hope and I really did look forward to it a lot. Only to what? Another night of acting stupid?

Another night of letting him learn how much stupider I can be?

And the saddest thing is, I prayed. I really prayed hard that I would be fine, that I wouldn't feel weird, that he would be fine. I didn't even think of that. All I wanted was us being friends and having fun together. But, God wouldn't let it be... and I don't understand why.

It's all my fault. And I do feel so bad. Because really, it was alright in the sms-es. It's just me. I feel so regretful and guilty, I dunno what to do.

And the OT Outing was quite stony at first then it got better. I don't really know how to put it, but somehow, we don't act (or feel) like we've worked together for more than just a few months.
It was quite saddening.

New Skin!

2006-09-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

Yayy I like this skin.

Emo Teddy! hawhaw.

I'm so bored and I haven't done a single thing I planned. Except maybe write one-quarter of the orientation ri+icebreakers proposal.

Oh no, Ms Ha hasn't replied my email! -hides and sobs in despair-

Ok. Am gonna mug chem now.

LOTS OF LOVE to you too, Issy! :D

(:

2006-09-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

YAY My Lovely Samsoon!

Love that show! It's like meteor garden+full house+stairway to heaven (ok, just a bit?) 'cept it's loads, loads better! :D

Yaye go romance soaps! And I totally dig happy endings! Which is why I'm not afraid to continue watching My Lovely Samsoon, even though it's at its sad part right now because I've watched it before and I know ultimately, Sam soon would end up with the guy and they would all live happily ever after. -cheesy grin-

If only real life were like that. Like the movies, the books, and the TV.

Anyway, yesterday we had some fishball training thing in conjunction with PSB. And it was kind of spastic+boring+sleepy. Because for 80% of the slides, nearly all of have already gone through them (like, he uses about the same ppt slides for his classchair training/ psls training/ first ever pb training last year). So tzeqing and I were nearly dozing off.

Oh but but the fun part was when everyone did their group cheers. Hoho so lame but soo ridiculously funny. Like we had to name our group after a leader so our group (consisting of Tq, Roy, Afiqah, Thashi, Meijia, Joyce and Celine and me!) chose LeeKY!

Because LeeKY the Leek Leaks and Licks. :P

Ain't it cute? :D Oh but our song's cuterrr!

Sung to the tune of "Pass It On":

It only takes a Lee (ooh-ooh)
To make a leaky Kuan Yew!
And soon all those around (ooh-ooh)
turn soggy from his leaking(licking)!
That's how it is with Kuan Yew's hair
Once you have shaved it off
It'll grow again, as fresh as spring
Which is why Kuan Yew is very strong!
He is strong, he is strong, he is he is he is strong!

And when your pipes all leak (ooh-ooh)
You can call him up for service
Because he doesn't just (ooh-ooh)
Care about his hair only
That's how it is with Leeky's Love
It leaks to everyone
So leak it on, the tap is spoiled
So Leak it, leak it leak it on,
Leak it on, Leak it on, Leak it Leak it Leak it on!

Then after the pb training thingum, went to lunch with Lainey and Jasslyn. Fried Mars Bars at Far East! <3. I always have room for dessert no matter how full I am.

Then cabbed to KAP and we bought sushi and smuggled it in. Hoh. Then I had to leave so that I could come home and like study? (ok fine, I played maple and neopets, I know, so childish!)

But anyway, my uncle came over later and sent me to his house so I could help tutor one of my cousins. And oh I think my cousins are really quite sweet. Even though they are spoiled and have terrible temperaments, they are still kinda sweet and cute.

I love it how whenever my guy cousin gets a question correct, his face would lit up. And oh he's addicted to maplestory but he played everything wrongly! Ahh his magician and his thief (he restarted after I told him to because he really wanted some thief equipment and he kept asking if his magician could use that) are so screwed! His thief at lvl 10 right now, has 15 dex and 35 luk! Which means his thief career's gonna start later than anyone else. Poor thing. Haha but oh well, it's just a game. I hope he gets bored of it soon.

Oh then when I left without telling my other cousin (accidentally... she was in her room), she ran all the way down to the front doorsteps and she was like, "Ehhh you left without saying bye to me!" Ahaha. So I said "Bye", and she disappeared up the stairs again. :D

I like kids! (:

Ok anyway, today I've got my mugging planned out. First, I'll go through all the hundreds of ppt slides and type out notes not more than 5 pages (I hope). Then I'll read my R&J (like, the whole thing, which is a freaking lot!) and I'll annotate as I go along. Ok, so that's all for today.

Oh oh gotta call Lainey/Nic later to see if they wanna mug together somewhere. KAP, maybe? (:

And I've decided to smile. SMILE. (:

CIP+some other stuff

2006-09-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

I just got back from CIP at a primary school. The kids were really really adorable! -swoons-

I've gotta prevent myself from gushing but anyway they are really the sweetest things on earth. Which is why I'm going to be a paedictrician when I grow up (even though nicole says you've gotta study a lot... mehhh, nicole thinks doctors have got no life)

Sheikh is soo soo soo lovable. He's an angel! A cherub(Quote tzeqing)! He's exceedingly wellmannered for a p1 kid, and he runs extremely fast for his size/age, and he has such a sweet smile. And he brings a pack of tissues with him everywhere he goes (which he uses to wipe watermelon juice off his cheeks, the little darling!). Ahhh I miss him I miss him! And it's only been a day. I was desperately trying to catch as many glimpses of him as possible but he's so shy! Whenever I tried to smile at him, the cutiepie would just look down and like look away. And he said no when I asked if I could hug him! Hohoho ain't he just shoo shweet. (oh no oh no I just read that all over again and I'm trying not to puke)

Sheikh made me discover my inner (just slightly) paedophillic tendencies. (:

And the little kids made me feel innocent and young again! Even though I am about twice their age and have seen so much more (and uglier) stuff. Oh but whatever.

Nicholas is so blur! He has gigantic shoes which he keeps dropping, therefore resulting in his constant tripping and his inability to skip. haha. Very Amused. Je suis tres amusante! :D

Pictures later! :D

Oh you know what, I've just read some of my friends' blog entries and I'm, just a little, sad. Because some things just will never be the same again.

And a realisation that's neither new nor surprising: life never (or seldom) goes the way one wants. And we've just gotta make the best out of it.

But sometimes, even the best doesn't amount to anything.

Totally irrelevant to the above statements, but I think you guys are so lucky. At least you've got something (wisps of memories, maybe?) to cling on to. I've got nothing. Which explains the inexplicable sense of sadness I sometimes feel. How oxymoronic. -snorts-

And I just wish sometimes I would have more sense. More control.

And I'm sorry if I don't understand your situation(s), because you see, I haven't been through one that is nearly as mutual as any of yours. nope. mine is just like a mirror. Reflecting what I don't want to see (namely, me, I, and myself). Which is why sometimes I count your blessings and I get mad. That I am not blessed. But yeah, as with all things not directly happening to me, I don't have the full picture so I mis-interpret and misunderstand. Sorry.

Sept Hols Schedule (in case I start forgetting stuff)

2006-09-04T23:08:00.000+08:00

Monday - PB Selection Camp

Tuesday - CIP at sch @ 8am, DISCO Handover Meeting at SLAC @ 2 - 4.30pm

Wednesday - PB Training thingum in sch @ morning, cousins in cousins' place @ afternoon (get uncle to pick me up)

Thursday - Free for now. But probably Chionging-Homework-Day (yet to be confirmed :/)

Friday - Lit Movie screening in sch @ morning, going out with nic and devil wears prada and eveline @ afternoon, sentosa with nic @ evening!

Saturday - sleeping @ morning, church @ afternoon, possible ot dinner @evening

Sunday - chionging-rest-of-hw-plus-mugging @ morning, cry over undone homework @ lunch, continue-mugging @ afternoon, possible ot dinner @ evening

Taaa. There goes my sept holidays!

2006-09-04T21:08:00.000+08:00

Today was tiring but enjoyable and kind of impactful I guess? I don't really know how to put it. But it was something I wasn't supposed to have fun doing but I still feel this tiny tinge of guilty pleasure. Highlight the words "guilty" and "pleasure", and there, you get it. (:

To the Sec 1s whom I interacted with:
Hey I'm sorry if I went overboard or was a bit too harsh ok? I honestly wanted to act as mean as I could because I've been told that I was someone who can't be mean for nuts. Anyway, I've also been told that the results of me acting mean was in a way, hilarious. But the point is, I didn't do it for the fun of it (unlike that time during slc -snorts-) and honestly, I wasn't shouting nonsense like "Eh why you look so constipated, can smile a bit or not!" just for the sake of pure amusement. Because, in your journey-to-be through PB, you are bound to meet people who are unreasonable or people whom you don't agree with and you deem unreasonable. That is when you have to learn to use a great amount of tact and coyness to deal with them. And I guess this is also partly why you had to go through the station games for this selection camp. But of course it's also about the pressure and the pain (emotionally, of course) bit. You have to understand that pb isn't just about having fun and nothing else. There's lots that involve sacrifices, the often draining juggling of multiple commitments, the ability to withstand peer pressure (yes, cliched I know, but it's really true) and the use of discretion for lots of things.

I doubt sec 1s read my blog because I haven't been mingling with many sec 1s. (In fact, it's less than 10, but that's not the point.)

By the way, I'm a freak with a dad who looks like a grinch, a mum who's a little bullimic and very temperamental, an uncle who has more money than he can/know how to spend and cousins who are as spoiled as shit. Now tell me again why my family is so dysfunctional. :/

Anyway, you know what, I just realised that having constipation is the equivalent of a mild gym workout. Because after being stuck in the toilet for 30 minutes, I came out drowning in a pool of sweat. Or maybe it's just me and my high metabollism rate. :D

Oh this is so random but I'm so excited! I can't wait to start planning for orientation cuz I'm the Raffles Initiation i/c! So funnn! hahaha. In fact, I'm going to start any minute now. Just gotta figure out what I'm gonna/have to do and then I can like whooooosh START! XP